I have received via email from The Girl an entertaining set of instructions for properly and accurately measuring a penis. The instructions for measuring won’t offer much that’s new to anyone who ever attended a quantitative methods class, or, for that matter, who showed up in pre-school on the day they handed out the little plastic rulers. No indeed, the best parts of the article are the sardonic illustrated instructions on how not to do it:

If you're using your butthole as a measuring point, maybe you're really a bottom after all
Figure 2: Outer Limits Method


In this view from behind, notice how the starting and ending points of the measure again give a false
impression of the usable portion of the penis itself.

The penis
is never supposed to be measured to the geographic center of the ass pucker.