An astonishingly long time ago, back in 2002, I blogged an amusing story about a woman who…well, you really should see for yourself what she did with the jawbreakers.

Her blog was named I, Asshole, and sadly the link went dead at some point after that. “Gloria Monday Goes Bye-Bye” and all that.

So, imagine my surprise when AAG twittered a link to a post about vagina cosmetics, and up popped the very same blog. Eight years later, and the lady’s still putting (what turns out to be) food in her vagina. But this time, it’s for science!

For those of you not yet familiar with the product, My New Pink Button is there for us ladies who feel that their junk needs some pinkening up due to age, hormones, or ethnicity. I have not really thought about the color of my ladyparts, well, ever, and I have probably not done the Our Bodies, Ourselves hand mirror thing since before I had children. I feel that anyone who has an opinion about the color of my junkdrawer can take their disco sticks elsewhere, but I was curious about this product for the sake of SCIENCE.

I considered as an alternate post title “Oh God, it BURNS!”, because when she applies the product according to package directions:

I put the product on and let it sit as the instructions advised. Things were okay for a few seconds, and then…THE BURNING! I have certainly felt worse, but it was very noticeable. The instructions assure me that this burning is “due to the ingredients reacting to your bodies own PH balance which is normal and will go away upon rinsing off the colorant.”

Rinse it off I did, and did I notice a difference? I did not. I will confess to you I took before and after pictures for my own scrutiny. Well hello there my vulva. Long time, no see. Sorry about the burning sensation.

As you might expect, there’s more.