So the other day I was out with The Nymph as we did a bit of Christmas shopping at our not-very-local discount department store. I checked out alone before The Nymph was done, so that I could pass the contents of my basket across the laser scanners without subjecting those contents to The Nymph’s eagle eye. And as I stood there, my eyes fell upon a display of awful-looking fragrances.

One of which, my brain refused to believe, until I looked again.

The name was, I shit you not, “Britney Spears Circus Fantasy.”

It’s a real thing. You can Google it.

Let me indulge in understatement: I am not confident that the brand image this evokes in the popular mind is the brand image that was hoped for and intended.

The lady is not known for her highbrow tastes. What’s more, by many accounts she enjoys kink and kinky public spectacle. She appears on (some of) her fragrance packaging in a tightrope-act dress, twirling a parasol — but surely she doesn’t expect anyone to think that is her actual circus fantasy? I know the first thing that came into my head involved a sad clown, a bearded Bavarian knife thrower in lederhosen, and one extremely well-trained elephant. Or maybe something involving, you know, pony ears and nipple bells?

circus pony girl

pony girl doing circus tricks

nipple whipped circus ponygirl

Image credit: Panels are from a Dofantasy comic called Roman Circus, by Ares.

What does your Britney Spears circus fantasy look like? Ladies and gentleman, step right up, the comments are open!

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