If you’re old enough to remember the days when those vibrating belt massagers at the health clubs were marketed in all seriousness as passive weight loss devices, you’re old enough to know better, too: everybody knows you can’t just stand there while the belt shakes your fat cells away. But people used to believe it, and it feels good, so why not?

It took pioneering female porn director Clair Dia to suss out what those belt massagers were truly good for. If they feel good with one passenger, why not try one out with two people on board? Two people who are, not to mince a point, fucking?

Shown riding the belt (and each other) are John Seeman (I’m sure that’s not a stage name) and Gail Clayton in The Health Spa (1978).

Update: A helpful reader went looking and found the entire movie at a tubesite, dropping the link in a comment that I did not pass through moderation. Thank you, helpful reader, but given the damage that the tubes have done to the porn industry, I have a firm policy of not giving them any free traffic. From viewing the movie, I did manage to learn that the scene above does not actually appear in it; this is not at all uncommon with production stills. In the movie as edited for release, the “fucking on the vibrating belt” scene is face-to-face, before she goes down to suck his dick:

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