Death attends a penis enlargement surgery for a billionaire diamond trader

News broke yesterday in a Canadian tabloid of a billionaire diamond dealer who died during a penis enlargement surgery:

Billionaire diamond trader Ehud Arye Laniad’s pursuit of a plentiful penis has ended in his death.

The 65-year-old big wheel died of a heart attack at a private Paris hospital where he was undergoing a penis enlargement procedure.

Reports say the Israeli-Belgian died on the operating table.

Belgian media report that Laniad was stricken when a substance was injected into his penis, triggering his demise.

One friend told Belgian media that Laniado had always been focused on his appearance and how others perceived him.

He reportedly owned a $50-million penthouse in Monaco, the principality’s most expensive. Laniad also was said to have had a penchant for celebrities and models.

A couple of random facts that I know, just to put this death in perspective. There are different statistics out there, but very roughly, there’s something like a .2% death rate for people undergoing elective surgeries (call it one in five hundred people). That’s not horrible, but imagine five hundred rounds of ammunition in a bucket. 499 will not fire; one will. You are invited to remove one round at random, place it in a gun, and fire the gun at your head. Would you do it? Sure you would… for a good enough reason. The question is, what’s a good enough reason? How much do you love life? What do you have to lose? What do you stand to gain?

Another random fact that I know is that injections (especially bulk injections) are more dangerous than they look. A “heart attack” immediately following an injection raises the specter that what happened to our guy was a botched injection. Google “cardiac embolism”. Basically the idea is that the “substance” being injected winds up in a blood vessel (there are a lot of blood vessels in the penis) and travels to the heart, where it gums up the works in an immediately fatal fashion.

Lub dup, lub dup, lub. dup… “Hello, Death? Is it…time?” “IT IS TIME, EHUD. COME WITH ME.”

Ehud Laniad was a billionaire who lived in the fanciest penthouse in Monaco. Life should have been pretty sweet. You wouldn’t think he’d feel like playing Russian Roulette, not even with a bucket full of empty chambers. But he did choose to play, and the chamber came up loaded. Boom! Ouch. Vanity, it kills, my friends.

Be safe out there, and be nice to yourself. Don’t do anything stupid.

Image credit: De Kapelle Der Dooden (1737).

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