Did you ever hear the phrase “It’s a dog-eat-dog world, and I’m wearing Milk-Bone underwear?” Well, I would call this “chased by monkeys while wearing a banana bra” scenario an analogous situation:

wearing a banana bra and pursued by hungry monkeys

She’s never gonna outrun those monkeys!

ErosBlog readers of good memory will remember that back in 2008 we had a hapless heroine named Susie in a similar but even more dangerous situation.