Nobody Rides For Free, Blowjob Edition
Up through the 1960s and 1970s, it was still somewhat practical to travel the highways and byways of America by sticking out your thumb and hitchhiking. Although it was before my time, my understanding is that most trips were free. But for longer trips especially — say you were heading for the coast and caught a ride going all the way — there was an expectation that you’d kick in for gas. Or, lacking cash, you might share your drugs. Too, this was the era of so-called “free love.” Casual sex was still a thing, and it was not unheard of for an attractive young passenger to use sex to keep a sweet transportation deal going. I don’t know how often the “sex for miles” deal was stated explicitly, but it surely happened.
A few drivers made a joke of it. As a lapel pin or a bumper sticker or a license plate frame or a catchphrase, the line “Ass, cash, or grass: nobody rides for free” gained a lot of cultural currency. The libertarians had “There ain’t no such thing as a free lunch” and the disillusioned hippies had “Nobody rides for free.”
Perhaps that way of thinking explains these amateur blowjob photos from old lost Tumblrs. We may wonder if this buttoned-down library student in the floppy sun hat invited her khakis-with-a-cloth-belt driver into the grain fields beside the road for a quick suck, because he was making noise about dropping her at the next convenience store and she was hoping to ride with him for three more states. And this nervous-looking blonde? She’s on her knees by the guy’s open car door, in an alley. It’s the classic pose of busy high-volume streetwalkers, but our girl doesn’t look confident enough or bored enough for the role. More likely, she missed the last train out of the city, and the guy she was drinking with when the bar closed took a very transactional approach to her request for a late night ride home.
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I still pick up hitchhikers whenever I see them. But they have been coming fewer and further between, even before COVID-19. I’ve always figured it costs me nothing to stop, and I get to meet interesting people. Most interesting so far was probably the German hiking the Appalachian Trail, who had injured his knee, and wanted a lift past the next (very rugged) part of the trail.
My father was a short haul truck driver, and he would take me with him some times. Sitting at the trucker tables at the truck stop, late at night, you heard some amazing stories about young and old ladies paying their way with sex for long rides in trucks. I’m not sure if any more than a small percentage were more than just stories, though!