There is a direct line from the high-kicking can can girls of the Moulin Rouge in late-1880s Paris and the hard working cams performers on any good cam site today. Hear me out! I’m not jerking you around. Then and now, we’re talking about higher-status sex workers shaking their booties and showing off their less-private-than-usual nether regions to a large audience of horny men with ready cash and a taste for choice and selection.

What, you think the high-kicking burlesque dancers of the early Paris cabarets were originally as chaste-presenting as the 20th-century versions you may have seen in Hayes-Code censored Hollywood musicals, or on 1950s television?

I’m calling bullshit on that. What you need to remember is that when the can can dance was invented (by women tepidly labeled “courtesans” on Wikipidia) the default pattern for women’s underwear was knickers with a split crotch, to simplify, shall we say, a variety of bodily functions and activities without having to strip off complex layers of dresses and petticoats.

I’m not saying that early patrons of the cabaret were actually getting a split-beaver show through all those layers of flying lace, but the implication and promise was 100% there. The high-rolling club patrons were there to look at a vast selection of high-class pussy. (And more: whether or not those men saw all they hoped on stage, there’s been some version of the champagne room in every club since clubs were invented.)

Which brings us to the cams performers of today. If you choose a good adult cam aggregator you’ll find dozens or hundreds of online sexy people. An endless scroll, most likely. A veritable buffet of tasty cams performers. A huge video wall of hotness! It’s easy to be overwhelmed. But your inner voyeur, if you have one, should be well pleased. And if you want to get a better view of any of these sexy ladies, why it’s a simple matter of tips or tokens. Generosity speaks as loudly in 2022 as it ever did in 1895!

It is ironic, I think, that the earthy delights of early Parisian cabaret evolved in the 20th century to a polished, stylized, and heavily sanitized sort of glamor. And yet… can any collection of lovely young women flashing their inner thighs and underthings ever be truly sanitized to the satisfaction of blue-noses, prudes, and self-appointed censors?

I’m tempted to say that Hollywood and Broadway gave it a good try, but honestly they didn’t. They just hired brilliant costumers and choreographers and dancers to work within the constraints they had to endure, while subverting those constraints utterly by means of costume design, choreography, and pure pulchritude. We can do nothing but admire the fruits of their labors!

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• Ah, Burlesque!