This is a woman who frequently does things, the observation of which would probably send me screaming from the room like a California Democrat girlyman. But strong stomach or no, some requests are too much:

Caller: Do you do dog-play?

See, very tame. This guy wants to pretend he’s a dog and have me put a collar on him, make him bark and spank him with a rolled-up newspaper. Hopefully he won’t hump my leg, though.

Me: Sure, I do doggie role-play.

Caller: Role-play?

Me: Yes – you want to do a scene where you pretend to be a dog, right?

Caller: No, um…That’s not what I mean. I mean, do you have…um…Do you have a dog? A real dog?

Okay, I think I was wrong about him being tame. But, oh, I really hope this isn’t what I think it is.

Whistling past the graveyard, oh my yes.