No Sex In Front Of The Cats
Although it can make free-thinkers mutter about mindless puritanism, prudent folk will frequently exclude their pets from important personal business. It’s not about worrying that your cat will see you naked. No, there’s a practical side, as you will see when reading these excerpts from a long list of cat resolutions:
When my human is taking a bubble bath, the two pinkish-brown things sticking up out of the bubbles in her chest region are NOT to be played with!
I will cease my obsession with the box my humans keep their condoms in. This box is not for me. I will not knock it on the ground, I will not sit on it, I will not try to scratch it open. Especially when my humans are using the condoms.
I will not bat at my male human’s family jewels while he is engaged in the act of mating with my female human, no matter how tempting the danglies are. My humans get mad and I might get free flying lessons.
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Yeah, that’s the same here. Our cat sometimes manages to get right between us at the crucial moment and, of course, those claws are bloody sharp! :cry:
We don’t get the cats messing with family jewels so much as the cat who decides he is going to curl up on your husbands back, preferably while he is thrusting away. Free flying lessons still included. :hehe:
Reminds me of the urban legend of the guy lying naked on his couch, and his cat suddenly spies a “mouse” . . .
Also:
I will not jump on the man member’s back while he is bouncing up and down on the female and dig my claws into him. ;)
Oh no, it can get worse? I had my first interspecies encounter yesterday, I thought it was outrageous that our toes were being bitten. What is the etiquette here when it’s not your cat?