The Dirty Whore, There I Said It, Happy Now?
The Dirty Whore has a post up about why she uses such an edgy name, along with an email address that starts “filthy cumslut”. She writes:
I want you take a small risk when you come here. I want you to think and feel when you read my blog. I want you to be provoked sometimes. I want you to disagree with me. I want you to learn something about yourself and the way you feel about sex – that’s more important than what you absorb about me.
We got a lot of guys in this country who are scared of sex. It makes them feel sick, it makes them feel dirty, it makes them feel vulnerable which in their minds is only one step away from being gay, and yes they have a problem with that. And so, in their minds, any woman who likes sex, who revels in it and has fun at it and squirts joyously at the finish, is a cunt, a slut, a whore. And they use these words, in daily conversation and with considerable venom.
In my experience nice guys, guys who love sex and love women who love sex, don’t use these words much, don’t even think them except with an ironic smile or while recreating bad porno for the fun of it. Guys who own these words, who use them as basic vocabulary with all connotations accepted, who address them to women as titles, these are bitter guys, scared guys, angry guys, unhappy guys. Guys with an axe to grind and no loving woman to grind it with. Guys who lie in the locker room.
For reasons still unclear, Dirty Whore is telling us all, by exercising her natural monopoly over her own namespace, “if you want to talk to me, or about me, you have to pretend to be one of those bitter angry scared broken guys.”
Well, OK, she’s interesting and often worth talking about. If that’s the risk premium she charges as the price for addressing her namespace, I can pay it. Them as knows me know I’m not one of those guys anyway, and I’m not a huge believer in worrying about other people’s opinions in the first place. Nor did a little role-playing ever hurt anyone.
But I worry that she might also be saying “I think every guy is one of those guys, and that’s what I want you to learn about yourself.” In which case, sorry, no, but it’s not true, the shoe doesn’t fit and I won’t wear it. And I’m very sorry if her experiences have made her come to feel that way.
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=372
I appreciate your comments very much. I only want to add regarding this-
“We got a lot of guys in this country who are scared of sex. It makes them feel sick, it makes them feel dirty, it makes them feel vulnerable ”
Nice guys who respect women feel these things too and can be emotionally dysfunctional regarding sex. Some of those nice guys would love to have a partner who would be willing to help them work through it. Therapy alone can only go so far. Invest in good people, boys and girls. Grow together.
I think that a woman reserves the right to call her self whatever she wants.. but I think that to overly associate oneself with socially charged derogations can perhaps be a reflection of that person’s personal insecurities..
I have recently stopped referring to myself as a bitch, or other women as bitches. Or at least I am trying to break the habit.
I once bought into the idea that reclaiming derogatory words could strip them of their power to harm, but really it just makes these things more socially acceptable in common parlance. No good, right?
I don’t think so.
And furthermore.. idk why ppl would harrass you dear Bacchus for anything you decide to blog about. Bah.
[…] nomenclature: I have never been one to throw the word “whore” around casually, on the blog or off it. But Daze chose to use […]
[…] the earliest days of this blog, I have been reticent with the word “whore”. It has its uses, it is not always a slur, […]
I cant understand why the term “cunt” is considered derrogatory. As a red-blooded American guy, I LOVE cunts! So much so, that I place my privates inside of one, at every single chance I get. And if I’m not able to do that at the time, I like to put my fingers inside of one. Hell, I even enjoy placing my tongue inside of one. Anyone who doesn’t, is missing out on a whole lot of fun to be had by all!
As for sluts, in my experience, the term refers mostly to females who like to have sex. They are even MORE fun. Who wants to have sex with females who AREN’T having g a good time
Sorry Bacchus, as I was trying to delete that extraneous “g” in my previous post, my fat finger must have hit the “submit” button. Besides wanting to place a question mark at the end of that sentence, I also was intending to say that I like whores! I’d say that most men do, or they wouldn’t be so eager to pay them so much money for their time. At least, I like the women who label themselves as such. I have come across a few women who have married men for their bank account, whom I hold a bit of disdain for, but that’s usually because they won’t lay claim to the term for themselves, and seem to denigrate the ones who do.
I dont have much admiration for men who tend to bandy about those terms with a sneer… They tend to be either hypocrites, or suffer from even worse problems.