Son of Goodies In The Mail

A while back I reviewed the excellent sex documentary Marie And Jack: A Love Story from Comstock Films. My review copy was on VHS, but they’ve now released, and were kind enough to send along, a DVD version. The DVD is notable for including as an extra the entire hot lovemaking session around which the documentary was made, only this time, it’s in a “choose-your-own-camera-angle” format and is has none of that documentary talk going on. So if you liked the documentary but wished you could watch the sex as pure porn, now you can! Only it’s still the good kind of married sex, which makes it hotter than most of the porn in your collection.

I do so love getting goodies in the mail!

Vacation Looms

Hey everybody, believe it or not Bacchus is taking a real live vacation. Sunday morning I’m out of here, and I’ll be gone until the end of September, or near enough. I’ll be mostly off the net and I’m not taking a laptop. So you won’t be hearing from me, although I may get some email. (Or not; at the current rate of worm spams I’m getting my email box will be full in a week.)

While ErosBlog stands idle for a few weeks, I hope you won’t forget me! I will be back, and ErosBlog is not going away! Trust me on this one, and thank you for your support.

What An Unfortunate Profession

Someone emailed me this. I howled with laughter. I hope you will too:

Thanks for sending it along!

The Trouble With Dating

Here’s Derek on some structural problems with dating in this modern world:

There ought to be a class for people who positively suck at talking to members of the opposite sex.

This thought occurred to me the other day. I mean, let’s presume for the moment that you were not the sort of person to pick up that social skill-set during high-school. Where exactly are you going to learn it in today’s society?

First impressions, especially on the topic of romance, are so terribly crucial, and if you screw it up, it doesn’t matter how much chemistry you and the other person might have had if given the chance, it’ll all be for naught because the first impression will have already been blown.

Meanwhile, you really have no constructive feedback loop on what it was that made it “not work” for them in the first place. Sure, you can try and approach the problem “scientifically”, trying slightly variant versions with different people and seeing which ones garner the best/worst responses, but that’s not exactly the point of the entire operation, and certainly isn’t an efficient use of a scarce resource (that being “available members of the opposite sex”)
…
Here’s the worst part, in my opinion — It causes you to doubt the value of the attempt itself. You start saying things to yourself like, “Why bother, it’ll just be another annoying exercise in wondering what little thing I did wrong this time?”

Admit it, everyone out there has had times in their life when they thought that, a time when they would say to themselves, “Why should I bother putting it all on the line to get rejected, knowing that I’ll probably never even know why I was rejected?”

Finding A Lady, Internet Style

Vikki at Her Desires has kindly posted a twelve step program for “trying to meet that sexy libidinous goddess of your dreams online.” I’d excerpt, but you’re going to want to read the whole thing.

And just for the record: I’m pretty sure than any one of her twelve suggestions, taken alone, would work better than posting freaky bondage pictures on your blog. Never let it be said that I don’t take the harder road…

Water Bondage: “Splish, Splash I Was Taking a Bath….”

Much as I hate to link to pure porn sites, every now and then I find one that strikes my jaded eyes as being new and different. Here’s a bondage site with a twist: At Water Bondage, the moistly restrained models are ducked, dunked, squirted, splashed, hosed down, and generally subjected to large volumes of water in addition to their strict bondage. Lots of steel cages, shackles, and what look disturbingly like electrical play toys can be seen in the promo thumbnails. There are not many free pictures available, but if you click through this entry page you’ll find a full-sized sample like the ones linked below, and you can refresh the page to see different samples.

This sure looks like your one-stop for all you firehose interrogation fetishists, dunking fans, and aficionados of really damp dungeons. And the marvel of it is, outside of a few bathtub bondage pics, I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything quite like it!

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Girl Washing
• Astonishing Bondage Photo

Very Happy Guys

Vikki from Her Desires recently posted a picture of two happy and well-behaved male members. Happy guys!

Chocolate And Strawberries

Do you like strawberries and chocolate? Then you will lap this right up:

What a deliciously messy girl. Is it time for dessert yet?

This is Cute

Talk about shocking the neighbors:

Such A Helpful Boy

Here’s a cute photo of a very young horndog:

Somebody buy that kid an ice cream cone!

*GASP*

Oh my. Oh, my.

It’s not very often that seeing a photograph makes me catch my breath (literally, audibly, painfully). This photo did that to me.

Thanks to Spanking Blog for linking to the very talented photographer who took that picture.

Sigh…

Emmie from Girls In The Bag writes:

it is far easier for girl to give a hundred blowjobs to complete strangers than for her to share her most secret thoughts with someone she is not completely sure will keep them safe.

trample them before they trample you. you know the drill.

Y’know, this sort of thing is what inspired some enterprising guy to start keeping girls in the bag in the first place.

Schwarzenekkid

Radosh has the infamous nude photo of the next governor of California. Alas he’s not really my cuppa tea:

Soon To Be a Daddy

First of all, a disclaimer: I am not a safe sex nazi, and this is not a safe sex blog. The web is awash with info on ways to avoid STDs and pregnancy, and although such info is useful and necessary, it’s often not terribly arousing, so I do my readers the courtesy of assuming they already know what they need to know. At least, that is, until my nose is rubbed in the fact that sometimes, they don’t.

Rambling aside: Back when I linked with affirmation to Red-Headed Slut’s positive comments about Johnson’s Baby Oil gel, I got numerous emails from folks who were eager to be sure that I know that mineral oil destroys latex. Some of these were low-key “just want to be sure you know” sorts of emails, but several were high-energy strident “oh-my-god-I-can’t-believe-you-didn’t-warn-everyone” type emails. I found this puzzling, even a bit patronizing, considering that
(a) I knew this;
(b) I assume that most of my readers know it;
(c) I have never undertaken to be the safe sex education for those readers who don’t have basic safe sex information; and
(d) the effect of mineral oil on a latex condom is not terribly relevant in the context of a discussion of a lube recommendation for a hand-job where no condom was mentioned.

In short, I felt that I got spammed by knee-jerk safe sex activist warrior partisans, who have for whatever reason been conditioned to be uncomfortable hearing any mention of oil-based lube unless “destroys condoms” is uttered immediately thereafter, even if that’s not relevant to the discussion. With all due thanks and appreciation for their good and noble intentions, I don’t want to be like those people.

But just this once, I’ll take the risk.

So now, in the fifth paragraph of this post, I’ll get to the point. I got a nice email from a young man who has started a new sex blog [now defunct], and who wants a link. Now, young male voices being quite the minority in the sex blogging world, I naturally went and had a look.

It’s worth a visit. There are two honest-sounding tales so far of young sexual encounters. But (and you knew there was a “but”, didn’t you?) I was immediately struck by the first post, in which the narrator says:

“I guided her into a position so I could spoon with her, lowered her pants, and slipped myself inside. We continued for a while, and then (as a matter of anti-pregnancy) I pulled out and put on a condom.”

When read this, my inner safe sex nazi started yelling and screaming. Given the existence of precum (that droplet of clear fluid that shows up shortly after erection, which can contain sperm and is perfectly capable of making a girl pregnant) this simply is not a good way to avoid unwanted babies. The condom really needs to go on the dick before it touches the pussy; exceptions aren’t a good idea unless one wants a family.

Sorry, I just had to say that.

Way Hot!

Here’s the beginning of an absolutely sexy prose poem to be found at Black As My Soul:

I wouldn’t want to tie up your legs, necessarily…

Because I love having your thighs on my shoulders while I’m licking and sucking and using my fingers.

Maybe it would be more of a challenge while you tried to keep me away

Tried to keep me from putting my hands on your hips and taking you with my cock…

You calling me a fucker?

Maybe I’ll hold your legs together over one shoulder

Pushing your knees back toward you

Exposing your wet little pussy!

Your body betrays you?

Still holding your legs together.

You’re not getting away.

See this hard cock?

It could be yours.

Maybe I’ll just tease the outside of your wet pussy lips.

Rub your clit slowly with the head of my dick.

That’s not what you want?

Should push my hardness into you?

Just a little?

Spreading you now with my cock.

Stopping to savor the heat inside you…

Yummy!

Playing With Your Food

Here’s a unique Japanese toy: a pudding mold and special serving dish. Make a nude pudding girl, display her in her bondage packing crate cum serving dish, and then eat her with the attached hand-shaped plastic spoon.

For extra pervy points, take lots of pictures.

Thanks to Geisha Asobi for the link.

Yummy!

Do you like corsets?

Today’s Motto

“Practice random kindness and senseless acts of beauty.”

THIS Is The Culture War?

Why yes, I guess it is.

Debra Hyde just posted this essay in which she makes the point that the Culture War is back on, and sex blogs are in it whether we like it or not.

And I realized that she’s right. In fact, Debra reminded me that I had said as much the other day in email, to a gentleman who asked for a link. I had to refuse him, regretfully, because his site was all broken. Clicking any of his links took me to some sort of nasty ActiveX or JavaScript pop-up box with an “I Agree” button. There was some sort of waiver or disclaimer in eight parts, all about promising to be an adult and that I live somewhere where it’s legal to look at dirty pictures.

I didn’t click, and I didn’t link. I just won’t go there. You may have noticed that ErosBlog rarely links to a warning page, even a simple html one. If I can’t link to the content, I usually won’t link at all. But I hadn’t thought much about why. Partly it’s because warning pages are, from a technical standpoint, cruft - a useless excrescence that interferes with the natural linkage from one web resource to another.

But mostly, it’s political. When my correspondent wrote back he explained that he only wanted to protect surfers and webmasters. He mentioned that some surfers live where they could go to jail for surfing to a dirty picture. He mentioned that some people work for companies where a dirty picture on their screens can get them fired. He spoke of laws against letting minors see dirty pictures. He mentioned avoiding the possibility of his own arrest when traveling to repressive foreign lands. And last but not least, he mentioned Ashcroft and his rumored new team of crusading anti-porn prosecutors. Finally, he inquired what my proposal was for dealing with all these risks, if I didn’t like his solution.

This is an excerpt from my lengthy rant response:

It’s getting to the point where even the Saudi princes can’t forbid all access to the internet,
because it’s economically essential. By keeping adult material in locked ghettos at the fringes of the web, we make their repression easier — not something I wish to encourage or cooperate with.
…
Most of the folks who share your concerns use a simple entry page, with appropriate warnings, and links deeper into their sites. This demonstrates your good faith to any prosecutor, while allowing hardcases like me to link directly to the “meat” of your site and ignore the warning page.
…
If that doesn’t seem secure enough for you, I don’t know what I can say. Each of us decides which battles are worth fighting. I’ve decided this one is worth fighting, and I take what opportunities I can to encourage other people to fight it with me. You might have good reasons why you can’t take what I see as a very small risk, and that’s your business. But when your web resources won’t load in my browser, I’m not going to link to ‘em.
…
Meanwhile, I’ll carrying on linking to the folks whose sites are visible, and who are (given the nature of the sites I link to) helping me fight the culture war I’m trying to help fight.

Thanks, Debra, for reminding me of having written that.

Think So. Think So.

Brand new blog. All of three posts up. One of them is this:

A woman probably in her mid thirties sat next to me on the bus today. She had blonde hair, body was that of someone’s mom. She probably has one or two kids. She had that look in her eyes like she needed something in her life, something to complete it. Ever meet a total stranger and feel some sort of chemistry? I sort of got that feeling from her. I should have at least struck some dumb conversation with her. What would I say? “Hey, are you busy later?” I don’t think so.

Think so. Think so. I’ve spent my life going “She wouldn’t want to talk to me” — and being lonely. Maybe she wouldn’t. Maybe she would. You never know. But I do know this: In the last six months I’ve “struck some dumb conversation” more times than probably in all my life previous. And it’s been fun.

So, I do think so.

Nymphs of the Forest

One of the best things that comes with the job of being Bacchus is the close association with a fine assortment of woodland nymphs. What’s not to like about lovely women whose favorite pastime is frolicking nude in the forest, and who are (by virtue of their assigned role in the extremely traditional mythos) properly observant of the prerogatives of the god of wine and wild partying?

Ok, daydream over, everybody get back on your heads.

Darling’s New Job

Darling at Pussy Ranch writes:

If I ever design a bra, I will call it “The Yum-Yum Holster” and it will have a charming center panel that says “Your Dick Here” in helpful embroidery.

Speaking on behalf of most of the men on the planet, this woman really needs to be a lingerie designer.

The Old Man And His Truncheon

You’ve got to love any story that ends like this:

“The old guy died a few weeks later. And I never washed the truncheon. I wonder if he got to smell that wonder smell of female cum before he died…. I hope so.”

[It's a pity the link went dead.]

How Not To Encourage Sexual Honesty

From another of the summer’s crop of hot new sex blogs, Bloggin’ Bitch [now defunct], comes this anecdote of supportive male conversation:

I just had a conversation with my man about swingers parties. Well I just had to ask. I really really want to go to one. Especially after reading some of the things over at Naked Loft Party. The reply: You really are a nympho little bitch aren’t you?

Yah baby, that’s the way to encourage your woman to share her fantasies with you!

Are You Ticklish, Girl?

Oh yes you are, or you would be if you got chained to a stone wall and given this sort of special attention:

[Cue sound of evil laughter]

Basic Wisdom

From Teresa at Making Light:

“I’m of the school that thinks that someone else’s gender preferences are only your business if you’re thinking of making a pass at them. If not, not.”

Erotic Truth

What is it about this summer? Seems like good new sex blogs are sprouting up all over. This one’s called Erotic Truth [since gone defunct] and it’s a multi-author blog with lots of posts, all of them quite explicit and interesting.

You know that too-common complaint women have about some guy who tried to get them to do anal sex by “accidentally” just trying to slip it in when they weren’t expecting it? Well, one of the early posts on Erotic Truth is a very graphic, very bad example:

My first time was somewhat of an accident (or so he says). Scott and I are in the shower at his older cousins house doing the nasty. Little tub, and a shower curtain hanging from the ceiling. I am bent over, ass in the air (as usual) and he is fucking me harder than a raped ape. Suddenly he pulls out and with all the fucking force one man could muster he rams it into my ass. Shower curtain flies off, I scream…tears well in my eyes…ass bleeds. I was like WHAT THE HELL were you thinking about? He looks back at me as if I am on drugs and says…what? What? you stupid fucking waste of skin….you just rammed a good sized piece of meat into my virgin asshole. He’s like”I did?” YOU COULDNT TELL? No says he…..it felt just like the other hole. Alrighty then, either my pussy is so tight it feels like an ass or my ass is loose enough to feel like a pussy. Either way, he did not earn brownie points that day. Assfuck.

A gentleman, adept navigator, and credit to his gender. Not.

And Speaking Of Shaving

There’s Shell’s way… and then there is this way.

Celebrate diversity, I tell you!

Look, A Pome!

mr youse needn’t be so spry
concernin questions arty

each has his tastes but as for i
i likes a certain party

gimme the he-man’s solid bliss
for youse ideas i’ll match youse

a pretty girl who naked is
is worth a million statues

— e.e. cummings

Detailed Instructions

Lots of guys really enjoy a clean shaven lady. It can be visually and tactilely exciting, and it helps prevent getting hairs stuck in your teeth during oral sex, not that that’s a huge problem or anything. Unfortunately a lot of women have practical issues with shaving: razor burn, ingrown hairs, et cetera.

Fortunately, Smooth Shaven Shell (who used to be found at the now-defunct Across the Atlantic blog) has posted a guest blog post at Gut Rumbles that consists of exceedingly detailed instructions and suggestions for the shaving woman, complete with a ten step program:

3. For the mons, do this standing in front of a full length mirror. You want the skin pulled taut, and the mons will be crunched up if you are sitting. Put your free hand on your belly just above the hairy part and pull up to tighten the skin. Then shave. It will take multiple strokes over the same area, especially if you are coarse and hairy like me. It also won’t get as close the first time as it will after you get used to it. Stand with your legs apart so you can get the crease between abdomen and thigh.

She’s not making light of the practical problems, but she’s tackled them with a scientific mind and come up with an entire suite of strategies to minimize them. Bravo!

Porn Shui

From Pussy Ranch, this exceedingly useful item of vocabulary:

Porn Shui: noun, refers to the art of positioning oneself in one’s office or cubicle so that one can surf porn undetected. Usage: “I have great porn shui; I face the hallway and the desk behind me is vacant.”

When I “worked” an office job, I was all about the porn shui.

Nutty Pirate Joke

Stupid joke for the wee small hours:

So, this pirate walks into a bar with a steering wheel shoved down his pants.

The bartender looks at him and says…”You know you have a steering wheel in your pants?”

The pirate replies, “Yar! It’s drivin’ me nuts!”

Can we get a damn drum-roll here?

Girls On Trampolines

The only redeeming feature of the utterly lamentable Comedy Central television show “The Man Show” is that every episode concludes with a segment featuring well endowed young ladies (invariably clad in cute undies, cuter miniscule summer dresses, or the cutest costumes) on trampolines in the LA sunshine. It’s every bit as much fun as kittens, and requires no better excuse:

The Hard Life of A Porn Producer

This paragraph from an essay over on Pornblography (the essay topic being the vital question “are the male performers in double anal penetration movies gay?”) made me laugh a lot:

Not two minutes later I had failed male porn star Dick Tracy asking me why I didn’t hire him. I told him it had nothing to do with the fact that he made gay porn and everything to do with the fact he couldn’t keep wood. I reminded him that I once watched him furiously masturbate for nearly an hour straight, sweat pouring down over his obvious hair plugs, face beet red, before emitting a girlish squeak and two drops of milk of magnesium from the head of his cock that could easily have been mistaken for spit. Oddly enough he, too, seemed deeply insulted by my observations and honesty, and openly contemplated giving me the ass whooping I so desperately crave. Ultimately he laughed, shook his head and walked away, while I proceeded to get drunk and use dumb pickup lines on women who, prior to my insinuations, used to think I was funny and clever.

Japanese Bondage Illustrated

Ever wonder how to tie one of those Japanese rope bondage harnesses? The kind that don’t actually restrain anything but which you can put on your lady using really rough scratchy rope and make her wear to work under her fancy tailored suits? With strategically placed knots in tight places that will make her eager to get home again so she can ask you (ever so nicely) to take the ropes off and play with her? Well, here’s a handy illustrated guide:

Have fun, boy scouts!

Dworkin on Blowjobs

A while back I linked to a fun essay on blowjobs in the Village Voice, which talked about the way dominance and submission add to the heat of the cocksucking experience for both parties. There was briefly on Yes Portal a response taking serious issue, too serious I might argue, with that view of the blowjob. What’s most interesting about the response, however, is this characterization of Andrea Dworkin’s writings on blowjobs:

In her book Mercy, she [Dworkin] described a blow-job as “stretching muscles that can’t be stretched” and warned women curious about the act, that “the pain will push you down to hell, near death, to coma, to the screamless scream, an agony, no voice, a ripped muscle, shreds swimming in blood in your throat.”

Isn’t that the saddest thing you ever saw? I’m thinking maybe Dworkin was doing it wrong.

What a Lovely Idea

Kissing School! No, really. From an article in the Seattle Times:

A self-described “luscious” kisser, Byrd came up with the kissing-school idea while dating a man, 57, who, in her opinion, “didn’t know how to kiss.” She taught him and found her calling.

Her theory is that technique itself doesn’t carry the kiss it’s the energy transmitted, the emotion behind it that informs the kiss. Technique may translate the intention skillfully or not, but that’s more a matter of finesse, Byrd believes, and perhaps even more the quality of presence within the act.

The whole things sounds rather fun, and who wouldn’t benefit from this?

Fun With Twiddly Bits

There’s a fun new sex blog on the block - Twiddly Bits, being “The Ramblings of a Very Horny Woman.” She and her husband like to play:

So, in accordance with our plan, when it was time for us all to retire for the evening, I asked A, “You have a choice. Whatever you decide is fine with us; we won’t be offended either way. We have a Queen-sized air mattress which you can sleep on out here or, you’re welcome to share our bed with us.” She chose to share our bed! Yay!

We all got cleaned up for bed (ie. brushing teeth, etc.) and A &amp I snuggled up on either side of P under the covers. We chatted a bit and after a while I reached for P’s cock. Well, surprise! A’s hand was already there! No wonder he seemed a little “out of” the conversation! LOL Things proceeded from there - it’s been a while so the details are fuzzy - but I remember sucking on A’s ample bosom and playing with her sensitive nipples and then she slid over to take P’s cock in her mouth. P twisted around to tongue my pussy, so I figured what the hell? and dove into her muff.

Hers is completely different from mine. Her labia are much smaller than mine and, while she also has a piercing, she’s built such that a vertical piercing works better for her. Her pussy was very sweet, not musky at all, and quite wet already. *yum*