A buddy about three counties away called me up and claimed he overheard this in a big farm supply store:

Customer: “Hey, man, I’ve got an awful lot of mowing to do. I really want that big yellow zero-turn riding mower you’ve got out front, but my wife says it’s too expensive and won’t let me buy it. You got any ideas for me?

Man behind the customer service desk: “Yeah, that’s a rough problem, man. Would you like to have a look at some better options?”

Customer: “Absolutely, what do you have?”

Customer service man: “Lemme walk you around the store and make some introductions. Emily in our outdoor clothing department is a really sweet girl looking to settle down, and then there’s Patricia in sporting goods. She’s a young single mom who loves to hunt and fish. Oh, and if she’s in today you really ought to meet Marge in paint mixing, she’s been trying to meet a nice hard-working man…”

Versions of this have been circulating on social media as a joke for a while now, so take it with the appropriate grain of salt. A shaggy-dog story for our times!

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