Violet Blue has a cool idea:

But still, if it weren’t for the hugenormous price tag, I’d love to roll around with both a male and female Realdoll for a weekend, even with an added real live person, and if anyone wants to sponsor me doing the deed and writing an article about this scenario (and will ship screener dolls), I’m up for the challenge. Hell, if people can get rubes to pay their ridiculous charge card debts via their web sites, and solicit donations to help them get dates or boob jobs (pop-ups, no pun), then there’s hope for my “Pervert Porn Reviewer Has Realdoll Orgy Article Fund.”

C’mon, it would be ten gees well spent. Anyone?

This, allegedly, is food, prepared by good churchly people and served to children and maiden aunts with a straight face:

Apparently it’s called “Candle Salad” and it’s prepared in all innocence by Mormons and folk of that ilk. Theresa explains it all, in a long post about Mormon food of which this is but the tiniest excerpt:

Back then I was also taught to make candle salad, only we dipped our bananas in Dream Whip and rolled them in crushed cornflakes before placing them upright in their pineapple rings and sticking half of a red maraschino cherry onto the tip. It takes a very, very clean mind to think that up.

Oh my, yes.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Honeymoon Advice For Mormon Virgins
• A Mormon Denies Candle Salad
• Special Mormon Underpants

Here’s a picture I found over at Uffish Thoughts some while back:

I can hear it now: “Will the lady be requiring the complete hand detailing this afternoon?”

You know, enthusiasm in the giving of blowjobs is all well and good. Indeed, a lot of guys could wish to find more of it in their lives. However, it’s possible to have too much of a good thing.

From Makura No Soshi, a long catalog of sexual experiences, well written and pleasing to any voyeuristic eye. I like this bit the best, because it’s the one that she makes sound like the most fun:

The first time I kiss a woman it rocks me all the way down to my knees. Later, when I am alone, I burst into tears. I think about it over and over again. I want to go around singing that stupid song that was on MTV for awhile, “I Kissed A Girl.” I lock myself in the bathroom and think about it some more, and touch myself. The first time I have sex with a woman I am terrified that I won’t know what to do. I think that I will do to her all the things that I like to have done to me, for starters, and that perhaps she can tell me all the rest. Her skin is so unbelievably smooth, her breasts so soft, and she is wet and plush-velvety, and red, and deep. Her clitoris rises toward my mouth like a sweet, dark fig. It is the best sex. Ever.

George Kranze has some thoughts on how to integrate bukkake more fully into American culture:

Talk about a natural fund raiser – how many times have you been driving around and seen a church group or civic club selling car washes ? Now, who the hell wants to wash their car ? I let mine sit in the rain – works just fine.

But suppose you drove past a fire department and saw a large hand-lettered sign that read “Bukkake $5” . You park, and walk into the station, (which has been emptied of fire trucks for this occasion), and lo and behold, a gorgeous brunette Demi Moore look alike is kneeling on a pillow in the center of the garage. Men mill around, drinking draft Heineken from a freshly tapped keg, bullshitting, and stroking their meat. One by one, as the need arises, they drift on over to Demi and shoot their load.

Her hair is streaked with strands of cum, cum hangs from her chin and occasionally falls to her bare breasts – she is grinning like a she-devil – a good time is had by all. Shit, you would donate 5 bucks and join the party, right ?

And he thinks it would be just the thing for centers of higher learning:

Sororities at some of our rowdier campuses could require that all new members undergo a bukkake.

The beautiful debutante would kneel in the center of a large room in the sorority house while several invited fraternity houses mill around, swilling beer, and, uh, rising to the occasion. The debutante would have to fellate the three largest guys, the rest would have to service themselves. At the crucial moment guys move right next to or in front of the cutie and shoot their load. The whole party would be recorded on video for both the sorority archives and the debutantes scrapbook. (Interesting item for her future ex-husband don’t you think?)

For anyone who is still confused about this bukkake business (as Stan Rogers would say, “You lucky few”) there’s some background here and here.

From that fountain of high quality sexual knowledge, RedBook Magazine, comes this news for a woman who (perhaps hopefully?) wants to know if there are any health problems associated with swallowing semen:

The good news is that it’s beneficial! Recently studies have shown that regular consumption of semen can actually have some wonderful health benefits. Semen contains at least 13 prostaglandins and high concentrations of hormones that retain potency if taken orally. The quality of the seminal hormones is thought to be superior to even prescription versions. In the study women who regularly consumed their lovers sperm showed such benefits as a reduction in ovarian cancers, lowered depression and many even had acne symptoms lessen or stop entirely. It is thought that the oral consumption of the potent hormones had a balancing effect on woman’s hormonal ups and downs caused by their periods and pregnancy or breastfeeding.

The key to the findings is “regular consumption”. Only once in blue moon won’t have the same effect. Those that indulged once or twice a week received little benefits. The ones who received the results were the ones who ingested semen four to five times a week or more!

You do understand, of course, that no man wants to see a woman depressed, and that “balancing effect on hormonal ups and downs” sounds pretty nifty too. If daily blowjobs are the cure, why, we’ll do what it takes to make ourselves available. Some sacrifices are worth it.