February 9th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
The hooligani who publish The Exile have attitude, and they’ll never be accused of political correctness. Frankly, it’s hard to believe that they really are as depraved as they pretend to be. But in Moscow, where depravity is cheap and flows as freely as vodka, it’s possible, or at least plausible.
Be that as it may, they publish some sex writing that’s as fresh and honest as it is politically incorrect. For example, this article (purporting to be the first of a regular series) in which prostitutes are interviewed for their stories — before the interviewer gets down to business.
“Oh bozhe moi! Hell yes! My first john was a young guy. A young bandit. I was literally shaking when I went over. I couldn’t help it. I sat there trembling. He was very gentle. He poured me a lot of vodka. I got completely drunk and calmed down. Then it was all right.” She laughed. “I’m blushing, aren’t I?”
February 9th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
How to Use a Vagina and a Penis — a funny couple of bits, if the gratuitous misogyny and misandry don’t get in your way. To wit:
The most important thing to remember is that the penis was specially designed by God to make your vagina feel good. Unfortunately, God did a shitty design job and he attached the penis to a man – so the chances of a penis making you feel good are infinitesimal.
Thanks to Random-Abstract for the link.
February 8th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
February 7th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
Rebecca is having a dessert fantasy:
“I am imagining the sheer desire and eroticism of laying in between the layers of a Boston Cream Pie slice. Slipping my naked body into the cool custard, feeling it coat my hardened nipples like a lover’s I-just-drank-some-cold-water tongue. Pinned down by cake and chocolate ganache, pressing my ass deeper into the custard until it parts my ruby lips, sending shivers up my spine. I wiggle. I moan. I lick my fingers and drift off into a hazy sugary sleep on a cold winter’s night.”
February 6th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
Your kink is not OK.
This guy says so. [Link died and was removed.]
The article is entitled “Fourteen Sexual Fantasies I just Don’t Understand” but when you read it, it’s a condemnation of anyone who does understand the fetishes in question.
Into watersports? You “nasty skank.” Older women? “Not sexy.” Like girls with body hair? “Bad news for you: you’re probably gay.” Foot Fetish? “Not even remotely affiliated with the sexual process.” Like shemales? “Just sick.” Wierd insertions? “Ain’t sexy.” Bestiality? “Not erotic.” “Excessive Bondage”? “Just not nice.” Female domination? Forget it — “It’s the role of the guy to be the dominator.” Cartoons? “Jerking off to a cartoon should be a last resort.” Pregnant women? You “sick fuck.”
Anyone reading the article is probably going to agree with some of these – certainly there are several of these fetishes that would send Bacchus screaming for the next county. But it’s unclear what is to be gained by condemning fetishes you don’t personally find sexy.
What a maroon. And on the evidence, a somewhat sexist and homophobic maroon to boot.
February 5th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
This sort of thing might be able to convince even Bacchus that exercise can be fun.
It gets better. What are they doing, practicing Gorean slave girl postures?
Similar Sex Blogging:
February 5th, 2003 -- by Bacchus
What she said!
She quotes loosely from a press release:
“One of our clients is a French doctor and plastic surgeon, who has an amazing new procedure: It involves injecting collagen into the G-spot to increase its surface area, thereby improving the occurrence and intensity of orgasms. It is a very quick and easy procedure that can be carried out at the [blah blah blah] clinic in [blah]. It has been brought over from Paris where it is all the rage. If you would like any other details, please get in touch.”
Now, Bacchus is not equipped with a G-Spot, but his most recent ex emphatically was, and presumably still is. Surface area was more than adequate, howbeit quite remarkably changeable in texture. This suggested “enhancement” sounds every bit as absurd as “enhancing” a pair of firm but deliciously malleable breasts by cutting the nipples mostly off and stuffing vinyl bags of salt water in through the holes until the skin is stretched so tight it begins to deform and…oh, wait. Never mind.
