ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
October 24th, 2002 -- by Bacchus

To Find A Sex Blog

Gentle readers, although this sex blog is not yet a month old, it’s time for that ever-popular favorite, the sharing of odd search queries. Prompting this exercise is today’s new instant classic:

rape my cameltoe

I don’t know whether to be proud that, as of this writing, ErosBlog does not even appear on the first page of Google search results for this query — or dismayed that it appears at all.

Also rather fun is:

bondage rooms for rent

Now, the neat thing here is, Erosblog appears on BLOODY PAGE FOURTEEN of the Google search results. Somebody paged through a hundred and forty fricken’ results, apparently looking for a quiet place with a cage and some overhead rafters and a bondage bench where they could spank their sweetheart in privacy (paying by the hour) while avoiding the watchful eyes of Mom and Dad. Is this an entrepreneurial opportunity for some clever landlord with an extra truckload of soundproofing panels?

 
October 24th, 2002 -- by Bacchus

Sphincters On Red Alert, Captain!

I just stumbled across an amusingly-written weekly sex advice column called Love Bites that comes from Toronto’s weekly, The Eye. Here’s a sample:

Q. I have a girlfriend who would like to have anal sex, but she is afraid it will hurt a lot. We were wondering if there is any kind of cream or some product that would relax the sphincter, allowing an easy penetration? Any collateral negative effects if this is used?

A. There are several products on the market designed to numb the sphincter, but they are generally considered a bad idea by ass-fucking authorities. One of the things your ass does when you’re doing something it doesn’t like is warn you in a way that’s hard to ignore. You do not want to Roofie your sphincter. You want your sphincter on red alert. If your ass is numb, you might do something that can really fuck it up, so to speak. Best to take things slow. Tristan Taormino’s The Ultimate Guide to Anal Sex for Women (the book, not the film, which is awesome but really just a jazzy porno) is a much wiser prelude.

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October 23rd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

ASCII Bondage Porn

Classic bondage porn from the days of the line printer! Hogtied slave girl rendered entirely in parentheses, asterisks, and the odd backslash! Real geek nostalgia!

UPDATE: You thought that was fun? OK, here’s a fetish girl wearing a gas mask and leather bondage harness. ASCII porn? Who knew?

 
October 23rd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

Musical Insult


“Madam, you have between your legs an instrument capable of giving pleasure to thousands, and all you can do is scratch at it.”

–attributed to British conductor Sir Thomas Beecham, speaking to a lady cellist

This cunning slander brought to you courtesy of The Safety Valve.

 
October 22nd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

“Sweet Thing, Did You Bring The Wasabi?”

It is rapidly becoming the custom of this blog to break up the bleak peach (or whatever color this background actually is — Bacchus thinks “goes with” is a female conspiracy to keep men in vilest subjugation) with gratuitous nekkid artwork every so often. So, without further ado, herewith a nymph with a minor bondage problem who bids fair to become monster snacks in the next panel:

naked damsel in bondage and about to be eaten by alien monster

Via Usenet.

 
October 22nd, 2002 -- by Bacchus

What Women Like: Japan Edition

From Japan we have a discussion of the three most popular types of dirty comic books for women:

And most of the women’s carnal needs that extend beyond the bounds of regular publication respectability are being sated by what are referred to as Ladies Comics, or redikomi, as they’re known in Japanese. Apparently, there’re three broad genre of redikomi.

“Firstly, you have your rape types. These aren’t like guys comics, where the woman is brutally violated. Usually they involve a story where a woman is caught up in some situation where somebody is virtually forced to rape her. Following that are the S&M stories. Again, they lack the violence of men’s S&M comics, and usually focus only on soft stuff, like blindfolding or binding the hands,” the editor in chief of “Love Experiences Special Deluxe,” a redikomi, tells Shukan Taishu. “Finally, you have the incest types. These are either loved or hated, but they often tell the story of a married woman falling for stepbrothers or brothers-in-law.”

 
October 21st, 2002 -- by Bacchus

“From Behind, But In The Front”

This is almost too good to be true. “Saudi Arabia’s First English Daily” takes on your tough Muslim sex questions, and wrestles them to the mattress. Is Allah down with hot Islamic anal sex? Well, it turns out that Mohammed himself has weighed in on this weighty question. Doggy style is fine, but keep it procreative please:

A man came to the Prophet and asked him whether it was permissible to have sex with his wife from behind. The Prophet answered in the affirmative. As the man was on his way out, the Prophet called him back and said: “Consider what I have said: from behind, but in the front.”

Thanks to The Fly Bottle for the link!

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