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The Sex Blog Of Record
January 29th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
Via Kinky Delight, this photo of Christmas lights hung like enormous panties over the holiday streets of a European town piqued my curiosity. What’s going on with the erotic holiday lights in vast lingerie shapes?
It took some doing because this photo has appeared in every holiday-roundup “50 Funny Clickbait Fails That Will Make You Click!” article for the last five years or so, but I finally managed to track down a German-language story that explains the situation. Google machine translation (below) is far from perfect, but from it we can glean some details. The lights grace Eislingen in southern Germany, and the display dates to the beginning of the 21st century. Their official name is Sternenregen (Star Rain). Local opinion on the panty lights seems mixed, but there’s plenty of positive opinion:
“Shining panties” – lace or horror?
04.12.2015
Smirking or embarrassed turning away at the sight of the “shining panties” in Eislingen’s main street? The Advent decoration in the Baden-Württemberg town becomes a controversy.
Are they glowing underpants? A photo of the Christmas decoration in Eislingen in Baden-Württemberg provides amusement in the net. Hanging over the main street are lights that are reminiscent of triangles on the head – or even on radiant knickers.
“The Eislinger stand for their lighting, because it is not zero fifteen,” said a spokeswoman for the city. The “star rain”, as the lighting is officially called, has been decorating the city center for 15 years, always in the Advent season.
“The underpants belong to Eislingen, what would Christmas be without this decoration?” Wrote a user on the Facebook page of the Stuttgart radio station Die Neue 107,7, who had posted the photo online. Another wrote: “I am ashamed to be an Eislinger.” One asked: “What is going on with you?” Someone demands: “Get away with the things. New jewelry must come !! ”
For some “terrible”, “poor” and “embarrassing”, but for some “cult”, “hehehe”, “legendary” and “that’s been so for 20 years”. A citizen says: “Yes, we old Eislinger are every year proud of our underpants again!”
January 28th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
Serious question: Say you are an artist whose medium is video. Specifically, erotic video. Porn, not to put too fine a point on it. But you’re also part of today’s remix and fan cultures: you work with existing tropes, characters, stories, universes, and memes. (In other words, you are “extending and embracing” intellectual property that is not, strictly speaking, your own.) Now you’ve got a fun little porn loop sitting on your desktop, the product of a few weeks’ work that you want to share with the world.
Where do you upload it?
Forget my rule: almost nobody can afford to host their own video without a business model. Not if it has the potential to go viral.
YouTube is not an option. It’s a #pornocalypse platform. Google/Alphabet does not welcome your porn. Your porn will not survive on their platform for any significant length of time.
Что делать? What is to be done?
There truly is only one sensible solution. You would, you must, upload your work to a tube site.
Yes, yes, I know. Responsible commercial-porn consumers who pay for porn are primed to think poorly of tubes, because tubes have had a such pernicious effect on the commercial porn industry. But where you stand depends on where you sit. And if you’re an indy nonprofit artist looking for free distribution of bandwidth-heavy porn video files, tubes are an amenity. What follows from that is, that as a curator and researcher of obscure porn goodies, I have to give credit where credit is due: sometimes there’s no substitute for a good tube when I’m looking for video that won’t be found, that simply can not be found, anywhere else.
All of which is by way of explaining how I found myself searching pornkai.com for robot sex videos yesterday. Pornkai.com is an extremely interesting and useful site for the porn video researcher. Using various APIs made available by several large tubes and a search engine that does not suck, it exposes more than twenty-two million heavily tagged and key-worded video clips to the queries of intrepid researchers like your loyal reporter. Twenty two is a lot of millions. Or, to put it another way: that’s a metric buttload of video clips.
Did I find me some robot sex? Yes I did. Specifically, I found a somewhat puzzling fan video featuring a robot getting a blowjob followed by robot frottage (robot penis between humanoid thighs):
A bit of traditional in-out-in-out robot sex follows that but when our robot decides to sprout a whole bunch of tentacle dicks, Our Heroine (not actually a human, but apparently a humanoid android named Yorha 2B) has had enough; she draws her sword and there’s a sudden spate of robot de-dickifications. Cheering! And scene.
What does it all mean? Fuck me if I can tell you. I did track it all down as fan art associated with a videogame franchise called Nier: Automata. The artist and video maker is XiestoXenox-Xavi, aka Xiësto. I’d call them good at what they do.
January 27th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
How’s that first day of college going? Pretty well actually! Although perhaps he wasn’t precisely expecting to be avidly pursued by large women with no clothes on:
Artwork graced the cover of College #9.
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January 26th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
These photos push lots of buttons for micro-fetishes (or at least, recurring themes closely attended to) here at ErosBlog. I’ve always had a soft spot for images featuring opulent bathrooms and fancy plumbing. Furthermore, I’m quite partial to en déshabillé women at their ablutions. Plus, since these photos show harem-induction preliminaries from a 1960s soft-porn version of the Victorian classic The Lustful Turk, they push not only all the general Orientalist harem-fantasy buttons that lurk throughout the Western literary imagination, but the very specific power-over fantasy that’s often summarized (among men, at least, and sometimes with a wink and a leer) as “have that one bathed and sent to my tent.”
*Smack!*
Hey, what’s that sound?
That, it turns out, was the sound of me writing myself smack into a brick wall. Uh, ouch.
I initially drafted this post a few months back, and found that I couldn’t post it. So I wrote a little note to the future and buried it in my drafts folder:
In early October 2018 as I am writing this, it’s looking a lot like the United States Senate is about to vote to put a rapist on the United States Supreme Court. Which means — I just discovered — that my over-fifty cis-male privileged white thoroughly-calloused nerve endings are feeling just a tiny bit raw about rape culture. In fact those nerve endings are feeling too raw, it turns out, to post Victorian-era rape porn (reimagined as 1968 soft-core sexploitation) in order to mine it for fetish fuel.
And that is not a limit I ever expected to set for myself.
I don’t even think I’m setting it now. Not once and for all, not for all time. I have more than once characterized my editorial goals here at ErosBlog as unabashed and unapologetic male-gaze writing about porn, while striving not to be a complete dickhead to and about women. Rape fantasies, and rape porn that embodies and depicts those fantasies, are enjoyed by men and women both (I do not say “alike”) and their role within rape culture is complex and controversial. I’ve cheerfully and noisily waded into those controversies in the past, with my trusty shield of “well, actually” in one hand and my slippery staff of mansplaining in the other. When it comes to porn that encompasses elements of rape culture, usually my reflex is to publish and be damned. For reasons. Damned good ones, I think.
But not today, dickhead. Not today. Not in early October 2018. Because if my not-so-very-touchy nerves are currently so raw about rape culture that I flinched at a bit of light-hearted “have that one bathed and sent to my tent” harem tomfoolery — a meme that I’ve cheerfully deployed at least four times previously — then I don’t need to ask a rhetorical question about how it’s going to feel to the women in my audience today, the day that women are lining up to be arrested at the United States Senate as Susan Collins blathers at length about what a fine and innocent man Barty McBoof is.
I don’t need to ask, because I already know. Today is just not the day for it. I’ll put this post in my queue with a hold note. I’ll post it on a happier day for women, or for the United States, or for the world. An election day, perhaps, or an impeachment day, or an indictment day, or an embolism day, or an infarction day, or a “resigns to spend more time with his family” day.
So, if you’re seeing this — nice day, isn’t it?
I woke up this morning in a sunny bedroom with the notion that having yesterday watched a powerful woman teach the president of the United States a badly-needed lesson in manners and Constitutional governance did indeed qualify today as a nice day. Cheers!
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January 25th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
On the day in which Roger Stone’s day began with the sound of an unpaid FBI SWAT team hammering at his front door in the pre-dawn darkness, it’s worth sharing more widely the curious fact that Stone has a seriously sexy Richard Nixon tattoo on his back. Tricky Dick himself, trapped and leering in stale ink on Roger Stone’s shoulderblades for all these long decades:
Did I say the Nixon tattoo was sexy? I didn’t just make that up. That’s Stone’s own account, and his relationship with the truth is famous! He told a female interviewer it was, her paraphrase, “a hit with the ladies,” adding (this part is a direct quote) “You’ll never meet another man with a dick in the front and a dick in the back.”
Let’s zoom in on Roger Stone’s back dick, OK? Dick, are you ready for your closeup?
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January 24th, 2019 -- by Bacchus
The amenities at this fancy brothel are spare, but very classy: matched pair of sex workers, nice drapes, a plush bed to get laid upon. A silver pitcher, a single glass, and a priapic table to set them on. Just what a wealthy hedonist needs, and nothing more:
A couple of sources say this is 18th-century erotic art, but I couldn’t nail down much provenance beyond that.
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January 22nd, 2019 -- by Bacchus
My only question: what kind of pervert architect designs a voyeur paradise shower room with a damned window? And then, doesn’t even equip said window with provisions for a feckin’ curtain?
Style points for putting the soap shelf down at knee height…
Art credit goes to the cover of Corna Vissute #15.
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