ErosBlog

The Sex Blog Of Record
 
 
October 27th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Defeat Ambiguity: Use A Link List

I’ve written before about the virtues of porn linklists. At their best, they blend convenience, ease of use, and the guidance of a trusted curatorial authority. C’mon, this logo absolutely screams “trusted curatorial authority”, don’t you think?

Mr. Porn Geek logo

I’m not poking fun here. I showed you that logo for a reason. See the subtitle? “Only the best porn!” If beauty is in the eye of the beholder, then surely porn-quality is in the eye (or in some lust center located closer to the genitals) of the porn watcher. How can MrPornGeek.com possibly claim to have sixty-five categories of links to the “best” porn?

You might argue that it’s just marketing puffery. But you would be wrong. Some of these categories are so ambiguous that no search engine could possibly help us. What makes a MILF site? You can call any porn actress a MILF, but that does not make her MILFy. You need a human deciding whether her site fits in that category. Like old Justice Potter Stewart himself, we know good porn when we see it! That discretionary function, laboriously exercised across many hundreds of sites, cannot help but to be valuable. Are the resulting sites objectively “the best”? Which flower is the prettiest? It’s a nonsense question. But you still get your flowers at a flower shop, don’t you?

Perhaps dipping into a couple of categories in particular will help me explain. Consider the Retro and Vintage Porn Sites category at MrPornGeek.com. What makes porn “vintage”? To me, it’s porn that’s more than eighty years old, from the pre-WWII era. Most people seem to think anything is vintage that looks older than the porn they looked at when they learned to masturbate. And there’s a growing trend to call “vintage” any porn that has pubic hair in it! No search engine can fix this. It’s a problem of philosophy. Worse yet, it’s a moving target, because the arrow of time never stops flying. Having a short list of high-quality sites where a human curator has confirmed that “these sites are worthy compilations of vintage porn” is useful even when the curator accepts any reasonable definition of “vintage” — including both mine and the hairy-pussy one.

Another porn category where it’s very difficult to define the fetish is the so-called “amateur porn” category. What does this even mean? It’s very much all things to all people. To some, it means uncompensated home performers, uploading recordings of themselves for the voyeuristic thrill; to others, it means small-time and little-known porn performers, in sets that look like bedrooms, getting paid to produce stuff that looks like the first category. There’s broad agreement it does not include well-known porn people performing porny scripts in a studio. But there’s enormous hybridization across the category, including “genuine” amateurs who later decide to start performing for pay, and “pure commercial” porn productions going to great lengths to simulate the “amateur” look.

Mr. Porn Geek acknowledges all of this complexity in the intro to his Amateur Porn Sites category, saying he strives for “a healthy balance” between genuine amateur material and the commercial porn that’s made to look like it. You can look for yourself at the dozen amateur sites on his list and judge how good a balance he’s made. But in a porn category where there’s zero agreement on what the term should even mean, just having his list is the triumphant first step in an otherwise-very-difficult search.

And that is how porn link lists can help you defeat ambiguity.

Mr. Porn Geek banner

 
October 26th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

A Movie Blowjob On The Theater Balcony

The woman giving the movie blowjob here has a flashlight on her belt and a stripe on the side of her pants. So either she’s a cop or — and I’m not old enough to have ever seen this myself, but I understand these functionaries used to exist — she’s the usher, who would be the person charged with maintaining order in this theater. So “aghast Mr. Grundy” there is probably shit out of luck. He might as well enjoy the show:

movie theater balcony blowjob from the cute usher

Artwork is from an old Flick magazine, specifically November 1977.

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October 25th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

The Prettiest Camel Driver

Diary Entry, Day One: I was expecting that our informal archaeology expedition into the heart of the the desert was going to be nothing but heat, dust, travail, and unpleasantry. But when I saw the quality of the people that our caravan-master had procured to wrangle the camels, I realized that the conditions of our journey were going to be as pleasant as human ingenuity and lavish expenditure of Yankee dollars could make them:

orientalist fantasy western semi nude white woman with bare boobs holding two camels

The photo went by on Twitter not long ago (thanks to Dr. Faustus for calling it to my attention!) but has otherwise proved resistant to all my usual provenancing methods.

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October 24th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Toyed With By Space Pirates

I made reference in September to the 1979 Superwoman porno spoof movie. Per the November 1980 Adam Film World, it never actually got released under that title, because lawyers. Instead, it got reworked and retitled before a 1980 release as Ms. Magnificent, whose captive boyfriend we see here being played with by a space pirate who is herself rather magnificent in my professional opinion:

scruffy boyfriend captured and used as the bondage sex plaything of femdom space pirates

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October 23rd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

The Sex Blogging Power Couple

I don’t mind saying that when I first landed on this web page with “doctor” in the domain name and a sexy nurse for a logo, I felt a sense of dread. Too often when medical iconography gets yoked to the wheel of sexual pleasure, something important breaks with an unpleasant crunching noise, and we get a mendacious brochure for bogus penis pills or do-nothing arousal creams. I was prepared for the worst, I tell you! Thus it was a quite a pleasant surprise to land instead at Dr. Climax and discover the entirely sincere middle-aged sex therapist Angela Watson (who is careful to say she is not an actual doctor) and her husband Don, blogging away in an industrious fashion on sexual health topics and writing honest-looking sex toy reviews:

doctor climax screenshot

As will be apparent from the screenshot, Doctor Climax is emphatically not a site that has abandoned the offensive-to-some division of sex toys into “for men” and “for women” categories. In part I think this may reflect their own relationship story, which they are not shy about sharing in the posts and reviews on the site. Don Watson is a truck driver, and as a high-libido monogamous heterosexual married couple for more than twenty years, the Watsons enjoy sex toys when their relationship is intermittently long-distance. In this context, I think the “for men” and “for women” categories on their site reflect their experiences of the toys. There’s no hint that they deliberately intend to exclude or dismiss people whose gender doesn’t fit neatly into the binary categories.

Their real-world experience of long-distance loving made me dive with interest into their in-depth Lovense review, with its promise of a report on their extensive testing of the remote capabilities that are built into so many of the Lovense toys. It sounds from their reviews (they have more-detailed individual toy reviews linked from the in-depth one) as if they actually use the toys on a regular basis. This is rare to see, especially in the realm of “gadgety” toys with remote-control and teledildonics features.

Of course you’ll want to read the review yourself if you have an interest in these things. A few facts and impressions were takeaways for me that I did not know or had not heard before:

  • The Lovense line has a powerful wand-style vibrator called the Domi that has a bluetooth connection for remote control functionality from across the room or around the internet. To me this immediately suggests kinky applications. Keep busy fingers inside bondage mittens, and if she wants to change the programming, she can ask
  • The Lovense entry — the Lush — in the “remote controlled vaginal egg vibrator” category is apparently rather more powerful with better remote control range than the usual barely-functional products you may have played with before. Fun!
  • The Lovense effort at a true paired teledildonics set of toys — the Nora and the Max — appear to be toys that Angela and Don appreciate individually and have enjoyed in remote internet linkage, but their reviews indicate that internet lag makes synching the toys properly pretty difficult unless both parties have a really super internet connection.

There are lots more articles at DoctorClimax.com about a wide variety of sex toys and sexual health topics. Readers, you all know me for a weary cynic. I kept clicking post titles expecting to find bullshit (because that’s who I am), and “all” I found was sane, compassionate, informational prose — about an equal mix of sex toy stuff and other sex-related topics. We need more sites like this.

doctor climax banner

 
October 22nd, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Orgy, Ahoy!

I am not a nautical person, but this looks like deplorable seamanship. It may, however, be rather better semenship:

orgy on a sailboat

A deplorable and ancient pun, true. But speaking in my own defense, ErosBlog has been since early in the month of October chugging into its sixteenth year of publication, and in all the time hither to now I believe I have resisted each former opportunity to use that particular pun. So, perhaps it was time.

The art is from the January 1977 Flick magazine.

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October 21st, 2018 -- by Bacchus

A Man Who Can Multitask

Now here’s a dexterous man who can probably walk and chew gum at the same time, too!

salad tossing nipple twisting gay porn move still

From BJ’s Land via Kinky Delight, originally as seen in 1974 gay porn movie Moving.

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