We all know that frying bacon in the nude is an adventure, but these ladies seem to be scrambling eggs, which is safer. Is somebody getting breakfast in bed?

Vintage photo is from alt. binaries. pictures. erotica. vintage.

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One thing I like about sex blogs is the window it offers into the sexual lives of real people. In particular, we sometimes hear anecdotes of the sexaul bargains and accomodations that people make. Sexual negotiation, chore negotiation, and marital conflict resolution never works like this in the movies, but in the real world anything is possible:

Yesterday I had a party to go to and I needed to bring some things. I worked the night before and realized I still needed to go to the store right when I woke up, but was still WAY too tired to get up and go. I asked Vincent to go for me, but he said no. So, being the smart woman I am, I made him a deal – I’d give him 5 on-demand blow jobs if he went to the store for me. Being a typical man, he accepted the deal (even made me shake on it, his own wife!)

So, naturally, before I left for the party, I only had 4 left to give.

Vanity Fair has published (popup warning) a sort of literary history of the blowjob, overwritten by Christopher Hitchens in his erudite but often-annoying cult-crit style:

“The magic and might of her own soft mouth ? ” Erotic poets have hymned it down the ages, though often substituting the word “his.” The menu of brothel offerings in ancient Pompeii, preserved through centuries of volcanic burial, features it in the frescoes. It was considered, as poor Humbert well knew, to be worth paying for. The temple carvings of India and the Kamasutra make rather a lavish point of it, and Sigmund Freud wondered if a passage in Leonardo da Vinci’s notebooks might not betray an early attachment to that “which in respectable society is considered a loathsome perversion.” Da Vinci may have chosen to write in “code” and Nabokov may have chosen to dissolve into French, as he usually did when touching on the risque — but the well-known word “fellatio” comes from the Latin verb “to suck.”

Disappointingly, I really only learned one new thing, and that was only a hint, archly delivered in a word-to-the-wise-is-sufficient sort of way:

…gay men like to keep their tonsils for a reason that I would not dream of mentioning…

Oh really?

If you’ve had any experience at all with the adventure that is following blind links on the internet, then this will be exactly what you expect:

Pussy Bondage

And here’s the ErosBlog equivalent of Boing Boing’s unicorn chaser:

Bondage Blowjob

Some context for this photo would be nice, but alas, I don’t have any to offer:

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I’ve heard of being so out of clean clothes that one is naked in the laundromat, waiting for the wash to get done. But this soapy young thing is taking it to the next level:

Do you suppose she’s planning to ride in the dryer, too?

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Almost two years ago I posted my controversial opinion that blogging services suck, citing an incident where LiveJournal killed a vibrant vintage erotica resource and concluding:

Anything worth doing on the internet is worth doing at your own domain that you control.

I still feel this way. Latest evidence, from LiveJournal again: apparently they are threatening to suspend users who dare to display the dreaded nipple, even when it belongs to the Virgin Mary and is being suckled by none less holy than the Blessed Baby Jesus:

Picking to the bottom of a huge flapdoodle with many nuances, the bottom line is that LiveJournal recently changed a FAQ explaining its TOS; the TOS prohibits “inappropriate” imagery, and the FAQ change nerfed a “graphically sexual” interpretation of “inappropriate”, replacing it with a “nudity” interpretation. In short, the prudishness got kicked up several notches. Obviously, folks object to the idea that all nudity is inappropriate by definition, because it’s such a fundamentally silly and stupid idea.

LiveJournal owner Six Apart has issued the classic corporate non-apology, stating in effect (I’m paraphrasing, and not with sympathy) “We’re sorry our new no-nipple policy makes us look stupid and bad, but we’re really not stupid and bad, so we’re not sorry for doing stupid bad stuff to our users, and we’re gonna keep doing it, neener neener, thank you for your support.”

In the Making Light post cited above, a commenter offers up a potential explanation of the corporate business pressures that might be responsible for all this anti-nipple stupidity. He then concludes with a version of my point from two years ago:

But the one thing this whole debacle proves is, you should never trust a public corporation to hold your blog or social network, because they will always try to place the interests of their shareholders ahead of the desires of their customers.

Exactly. Get your own domain, and get it hosted by somebody smart who knows he’s selling bandwidth, and that you’re the customer. And if you want to show some nipple, make sure your host has customers who sell real pornography on their sites. I promise, a web host with customers selling Street Blowjobs or Cum Fiesta is just going to laugh like hell at anyone who emails to complain about your nipples, whether or not there’s a baby attached.

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