The Stinkfinger Conversations
In case you missed it, there is a set of funny conversation transcripts on the forums at Bondage.com that are making the rounds of the blogs. A kinky man gets surreal phone calls from his mother after she finds out about his kink, and begins to explore her own:
Mom — I mean it. We went out last night and he said it twice!
Me — Where did you go?
Mom — Well, just upstairs. But still.
Me — Did you like it?
Mom — It made me smile. But I think I was blushing.
Me — From that? Why?
Mom — Because I didn’t know how deep to go.
Me — You’re losin’ me. What?
Mom — You know, with my finger.
Me — Ummmmm, Uhh. Well� (Why do I bother? I don’t *have* to answer the phone.)
Mom — Well? I never did that before. I wasn’t sure if I would hurt him.
Me — Poop finger. (System shock is an ugly thing.)
Mom — What?
Me — You gave the poor guy the poop finger. Christ.
Mom — We’re experimenting. Isn’t your mother allowed to experiment??
Me — Exactly what did I do to deserve this?
Mom — Just tell me how far in I can do that.
Me — You really put your finger in his butt, huh? (Nothing surprises me anymore.)
Mom — Only a little ways. I was too embarrassed. I wanted to keep going.
Me — You won’t hurt him. Just buy some Astro Glide.
Mom — I brought a case home.
Me — Good fuckin’ god! You going to put a safety deposit box inside him? (Ok, I lied. Things still surprise me.)
Mom — Will you be serious?
Me — I am! That’s a lot of goop!
Mom — I have to get going, he’ll be back in a few minutes.
Me — Ok ok. He’ll know when it’s too far. Got a safe word?
Mom — It’s ‘Jingle.’
Me — Good enough. Love you. Don’t call back mkay?
Mom — Rotten kid.
Me — (Click)
Obviously this is one of those internet things to be taken with a grain of salt — this could easily be quality comic fiction. But remember, there’s no way to know for sure. Saying you are sure with too much certainty only makes you look like a bear of little brain.
Found via Bondage Blog.
