A deep Christmas question from The Collar Purple:

“Do ponygirls get dressed up as reindeer in December? And what would you call them, Deergirls?”

I think this picture starts us down the road to answers.

There’s a rumor floating around via email, to the effect that Christmas has been cancelled for lack of interest. What’s more, this time there’s photographic proof:

In case you missed it, there is a set of funny conversation transcripts on the forums at Bondage.com that are making the rounds of the blogs. A kinky man gets surreal phone calls from his mother after she finds out about his kink, and begins to explore her own:

Mom — I mean it. We went out last night and he said it twice!


Me — Where did you go?


Mom — Well, just upstairs. But still.


Me — Did you like it?


Mom — It made me smile. But I think I was blushing.


Me — From that? Why?


Mom — Because I didn’t know how deep to go.


Me — You’re losin’ me. What?


Mom — You know, with my finger.


Me — Ummmmm, Uhh. Well� (Why do I bother? I don’t *have* to answer the phone.)


Mom — Well? I never did that before. I wasn’t sure if I would hurt him.


Me — Poop finger. (System shock is an ugly thing.)


Mom — What?


Me — You gave the poor guy the poop finger. Christ.


Mom — We’re experimenting. Isn’t your mother allowed to experiment??


Me — Exactly what did I do to deserve this?


Mom — Just tell me how far in I can do that.


Me — You really put your finger in his butt, huh? (Nothing surprises me anymore.)


Mom — Only a little ways. I was too embarrassed. I wanted to keep going.


Me — You won’t hurt him. Just buy some Astro Glide.


Mom — I brought a case home.


Me — Good fuckin’ god! You going to put a safety deposit box inside him? (Ok, I lied. Things still surprise me.)


Mom — Will you be serious?


Me — I am! That’s a lot of goop!


Mom — I have to get going, he’ll be back in a few minutes.


Me — Ok ok. He’ll know when it’s too far. Got a safe word?


Mom — It’s ‘Jingle.’


Me — Good enough. Love you. Don’t call back mkay?


Mom — Rotten kid.


Me — (Click)

Obviously this is one of those internet things to be taken with a grain of salt — this could easily be quality comic fiction. But remember, there’s no way to know for sure. Saying you are sure with too much certainty only makes you look like a bear of little brain.

Found via Bondage Blog.

From the “English is Not My First Language” file:

This pills is an all earthy herbaceous tablets containing a miscellany of grasses known for advancing intimate longing and discharge. By victimisation this product you should experience an increase in intimate longing, a betterment in your volume and execution, as well as increased power and delight during sexual activity.

Well. Who could possibly fail to victimisate this fine product?

Here’s something you don’t see every day: an animated .gif of a fellow making rather vigorous use of one of those plastic male masturbation aids (aka “pocket pussy”). It’s rather eye-catching.

Do you like toe porn? If so, you’ll love Celebrity Feet — the blog in which “the bored pothead” is carefully accumulating the best pictures he can find of bare-footed celebrities. These are the piggies of Julia Roberts:

It’s a precarious and unstable universe that has this in it:

At least this young Lothario had the good taste to buy a rose for his date.