Lately Fleshbot has been all over (if you will pardon the expression) the fake celebrity facial photos genre. First they linked to Project Barkley, and now they’ve found another resource (which alas seems to be staggering under the load just now).

Although semen on a woman’s face is not really my thing, I’m enough of a fun-minded pervert to understand the appeal of the fake celebrity angle. After all, doesn’t Willow seem more approachable when you see her with “your” own cum dribbling from her lips? And who wouldn’t enjoy those gorgeous eyes and that smile under similar circumstances? A man would have to be dead.

I do have to wonder, though, how the celebrities in question feel about it. Yeah, I know, they are well paid and richly compensated in other ways by the popularity which nominates them for this particular indignity, but these are still real human beings with husbands and boyfriends and maiden aunties and little brothers and other such folk in their lives who might find this sort of imagery disturbing.

I’m not going to lose any sleep over it, but we now live in a world where your face and mine and Britney’s are all equally fair game — raw material for whatever digital mix might amuse a fickle public. Already you know that high school boys are circulating “photos” like this in the locker room, starring the homecoming queen and the entire cheerleading squad kneeling in a sticky row. How long until you can beam a mugshot of your cutest co-worker from your phone cam to your DVD player, which will cheerfully paste her facial features onto the lithe body of Vivid’s latest superstar porn model?

You don’t know about goatse.cx? Or tubgirl? You lucky innocent. Move along, nothing to see here.

However, if you want to know all about it, without actually having to lose your breakfast by coming face to face with the images, the Wikipedia people have the straight dope on goatse.cx, tubgirl, and similar shocksites.

And that, boys and girls, is the best argument for the open encyclopedia project I’ve ever seen. Can you imagine a dead-tree commercial publisher compiling or sharing that information?

That nasty little amphibian is at it again:

No wonder Miss Piggy always seems so jealous!

From time to time I’ve heard someone say something hyperbolic like “He couldn’t pull that off with a dozen helpers, a photographer, and a whole team of Clydesdales!”

In this case, three of the assistants are evidently stage right holding the Clydesdales.

From time to time I can’t help revisiting Why Your Wife Won’t Have Sex With You (although I do it in the same spirit as a man goes to the racetrack to watch a demolition derby). The prevailing view over at Why Your Wife on this too-frequent lament of the modern American husband tends toward the “try acting more like a woman and she might … just might, so don’t get your hopes up … decide to have sex with you again someday” variety.

Like the flying squirrel said, “Aw, Bullwinkle, that trick never works.”

On the other hand, there’s a comment over in a “Sex And Marriage” post by Quiver. Quiver gives some potentially useful advice to a man in those unhappy sexless straits, only to have a commenter share a rather more robust strategy:

“If all else fails (or if you prefer, before trying anything else) put her over your knee and with one arm firmly around her waist to hold her in place, yank her knickers down and spank her bare bottom very hard until she howls. Then spank her vigorously again until she begs at the top of her voice to be allowed to spread her legs and offers her pussy (which will probably be glistening wet by now). Then allow her to service your cock in whichever way you please. A woman who has just been spanked often sucks exquisitely well, and on her knees doing it she can look deliciously beautiful, so that may be a good starting place.”

Kids, don’t try this at home. Enormous downside potential if it doesn’t work — complete with sirens and handcuffs and a well-deserved orange jumpsuit.

While visiting Making Light in connection with the last post, I was entertained by this anecdote about the sacrifices editors are sometimes called upon to make in pursuit of their craft:

Jim Frenkel was once approached at a convention by an attractive young lady, who said, approximately:

“Golly, Mr. Frenkel, I’d do anything to be a published author.”

“Anything?”

“Anything.”

“Then write me a good book.”

A long time ago I blogged this photograph of a phallic dessert attributed to those most clean-minded of people, the Mormons. The post has now drawn this denial:

“I am LDS and I find it appauling you incline we have food like that. We do not and I do not know where you get your information from.”

I don’t know which is more funny: the fact that a Mormon is reading a sex blog and condemning the food reporting, or the fact that that a sex-blog-reading Mormon can’t spell and doesn’t understand that the source of my information is right there in the post behind the little underlined words that link to … wait for it … where I get my information from.