“My fellow Americans….”

Also, these turned out to be every bit as much fun as I predicted.

More later. Promise. Right now, I have much better things to do. She’s just stepping out of the shower….

So many ways to look at this. So many possible explanations, all coyly withheld by the website. But oh-so-undeniably cool, this pink tank:

And I like it a lot better than the last piece of artillery porn that got mentioned here.

She gets here tomorrow night. Yay!

Waitaminnit, tomorrow? Ohmigawd, tomorrow? It’s time to freak out!

Only I’m not freaking out. I’m just excited. I should be all nervous and scared, but I’m not. I just can’t wait for her to get here.

Fair warning: blogging may be light during her visit. However, there’s reason to suspect quality will improve.

In other news, she and I are the subject of a Christmas fanfic. The Boss at The Collar Purple was inspired by the chained Christmas present and wrote “Christmas Presents” in our honor. And we are honored, although I’m not sure I could ever be this stern with a straight face:

He looked up at Nymph slowly, thunder in his eyes. “You opened the package, didn’t you?”

Struck dumb by the piercingly accurate accusation, she could only stammer, “W-what, what, I mean, why do you think ”

He interrupted her before she could complete the thought. “I warn you, the punishment for lying is much more severe than that for disobedience. Now I ask you again, Did you open your present?”

In a barely audible voice, she whispered, “Y-yes sir.”

“What was that, girl?”

She cleared her throat, but couldn’t raise her eyes to meet his. “Yes sir, I opened it.”

“Go to the table, bend over it, and grip the far side.” She hastened to comply with his order. Her palms were sweaty against the wood of the table and she fought down the urge to wipe them on her clothes.

My oh my, did it suddenly get warm in here?

Kinkspeak wrote in to alert me to her brand new erotica blog, Exit To Erotica. Here’s a sample from a bit called “Sweet Honey“:

right now i am having fantasies of bathing in warm honey. i imagine first placing my foot into it, feeling the warmth oozing in between each toe and then stepping in and slowly immersing bit by bit the rest of my body until only my face is uncovered. i lean back and let my hair also become saturated with honey.

honey. filled with antibiotics that not only soothe your sore throat but also smooth over your skin. honey, yellow and clear, melted gold.

Mmmm, honey. “Will ma’am be wanting her licking boy later?”

Here’s what happens when hot-blooded young ladies in northern climates are forced to amuse themselves, with nothing but snow to work with:

When I first got an email from D about his new “Cock Under Lock” BlogSpot blog, my first thought was “eh, that’s about 180 degrees backwards for a sex blog, isn’t it?” But as it happens, the device appears to come off fairly frequently. Apparently D’s lady merely got tired of sharing him with his extensive porno collection. Except on her terms:

I was making a joke referencing a porno I owned, and that E found somewhat repulsive, called “Ass Cream Pies“. At one point describing the kind of cum eating some of the girls do in that movie (read the description if you want to know) . E was so abhorred by this, she said, “that’s it! I’m tying you up and making you drink a shotglass of your own cum. So you can know what it’s like”. I was both turned on by this but also knew that I would not want to drink it after I came. But I was mostly turned on, and looking forward to getting some sort of release.

True to her word, when we got home I was promptly tied down again. She then decided as part of my punishment I would have to watch the Porno in question whilst I was imobilized. This went on for about 45 minutes. I was excited but unable to do anything to further my enjoyment. While this was going on E just sat on the computer doing online shopping and emailing. Eventually she proceeded to unlock the chastity device. I was already semi-hard, but once freed, became almost instantly erect. She started teasing me with light strokes, making me increasingly more rigid. I was as swelled up as I’ve ever seen myself. If that wasn’t enough she inserted the “Tristan” butt plug into my ass. She left the room for a moment and returned with a glass….

Here’s a kooky joke from the new-to-me Northern European Sausage Factory:

Ethel was a bit of a demon in her wheelchair, and loved to charge around the nursing home, taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky Charlie stepped out with his arm outstretched. “STOP!”, he shouted in firm voice. Have you got a license for that thing?” Ethel fished around in her handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him. “OK” he said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped out in front of her and shouted, “STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?” Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to him. Harold nodded and said, “Carry on, ma’am.”

As Ethel neared the final corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her, stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand. “Oh, Good Grief,” said Ethel, “Not the Breathalyzer again.”