Well, it’s not quite that much fun as all that. From Reuters:

No, really. An American surgeon who has patented a device that triggers an orgasm has begun a clinical trial approved by the Food and Drug Administration in the United States and is looking for female volunteers.

“I thought people would be beating my door down to become part of the trial,” pain specialist Dr Stuart Meloy told New Scientist magazine on Wednesday.

But so far only one woman has completed the first stage of the trial, with apparently breathtaking results, and a second has agreed to take part.

Meloy, of Piedmont Anesthesia and Pain Consultants in Winston-Salem, North Carolina, is hoping to find eight more volunteers willing to have electrodes inserted in their spine and be connected to a pacemaker-size machine implanted under the skin to heighten their sexual pleasure.

Drat, no mail order then!

‘Tis the gift to be simple, ’tis the gift to be free,
‘Tis the gift to come down where we ought to be,
And when we find ourselves in the place just right,
‘Twill be in the valley of love and delight.
When true simplicity is gain’d
To bow and to bend we shan’t be asham’d,
To turn, turn will be out delight
‘Till by turning, turning we come round right.

Shell is reprising her food porn turkey day utterances. Don’t miss her Things To Say At Thanksgiving:

Tying the legs together will keep the insides moist.
It’s a little dry, do you still want to eat it?
Just spread the legs and stuff it in!
You still have a little bit on your chin.

And so forth. It’s makin’ me hungry and I haven’t even had my morning coffee!

And how! She writes:

Men make me melt, they put me in a totally subservient place just by their existence, they make me glad i’m a woman, full of soft curves and plush flesh, deep valleys and high mounds for them to explore w/their rough hands, hot mouths, hard bodies…i open my arms and welcome a man to fall into them, wrap their solidity within my fragility like a warm blanket on a cold night…

The scent of a man drives me insane, their sweat, their heat, their hunger, you can smell it like animals do…their lust, it makes me want to swallow them whole, taste them in the hope that i can taste their lust and desire…i love it when a man’s been working hard and has gotten all sweaty, i want to touch it, taste it, kiss it off, feel that sweaty body against mine, claiming me, making me his…

Of the things that make a man, i love their cocks the best…

Slash fiction isn’t usually much on the menu around here. But in keeping with the theme from Sunday, I can’t resist posting this little gem involving the practical jokes of elves. Herewith: What to Do with a Tied Up Marchwarden by Khylaren and Larien Elengasse:

The proud marchwarden of Lothl?rien was nude and trussed neatly like a wild turkey, left for the seneschal of Rivendell to find.

“Well,” he drawled softly, crouching down next to Haldir. “Someone left me a wee gift.” He grinned inwardly as he saw the Marchwarden stiffen at the insult. There was nothing small about the L?rien Elf, and Glorfindel knew it. Broad shouldered and slim hipped; the other warrior was easily as tall as the Vanya.

Haldir’s eyes narrowed above the gag that prevented him from speaking, but his expression was plainly read; this was not his idea.
…
His perfect lips pursed slightly as he considered his options. Ravishment? No, he did not think that would do at all, for Haldir did not seem to be the type to be ravished. Seduction? Ah, yes, that was the answer. It was the key to unlocking the chains of composure that bound Haldir so tightly. The question was, how to seduce such a creature, and make him give into the need he so obviously suffered from? And to make him delight in giving in to it.

Haldir turned his head to the side, studying the shadowed profile of the Elf lying next to him, wondering if Glorfindel had fallen into reverie. He was embarrassed, humiliated, and angry at the seneschal’s treatment of him; swatting his behind like a naughty Elfling! And then leaving him this way, trussed up with nowhere to go, and nothing to do but feel the delicious ache of desire that had build steadily within him. He closed his eyes in frustration, and felt the mattress dip slightly as Glorfindel rolled to face him.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• What's with this gay hobbits meme anyway?
• Finally The Elf Women Get In On The Act
• I'll Never Look At Carrots The Same Way Again

OK, this is pretty funny: Technical Virgin. They say:

But there is a way for youths to enjoy rich and satisfying sexual intimacy without risking unwanted pregnancy ANAL SEX! The anus, tighter than any vagina and tinged with the thrill of the taboo, is the perfect venue for modern teen lust.

Of course, the safest way for teens to avoid unwanted pregnancy while satisfying their carnal needs is to limit themselves to homoerotic encounters until they are ready for procreation. But many boys and girls are uncomfortable with the idea of same-sex encounters. Anal sex, however, can be fun for both sexes, and thanks to modern improvements in strap-on sex tools, girls can enjoy being in control of their own anal encounters.

So, teens, the next time you strip down for sex, remember the TechnicalVirgin motto “Everything Butt!”

A fine parody of the ridiculous “abstain from sex for the ten or twenty years between sexual maturity and the time you get married” message that’s being flogged as an alternative to sex education these days.

Her Christmas present arrived yesterday. Now to get it wrapped and mailed.

Things are still going very well. The tally of hours spent on the phone would horrify you, but it just makes me smile.

The Nymph has a coworker who has been complicating the business of setting an exact date for the Nymph’s January visit. That does not make me smile. If it keeps up, we are going to have to arrange something like this for the coworker. Little she knows her peril!