It’s Milky Boobs That Threaten The World’s Teens

How do we know? Because Facebook says so!

Remember a couple of years ago when LiveJournal crapped all over itself by threatening to suspend people who posted breast-feeding imagery including the dreaded and oh-so-dangerous wild MILF-nipple?

Well, this time it’s Facebook’s turn. The story is all over the internets, but this story sums up the fundamental stupidities. First, Facebook claims that breastfeeding images violate their policy on “obscene, pornographic or sexually-explicit material” — proving only that they don’t know what any of those words mean — and then they try, pretty much in the same breath, to backpedal by explaining that they know nipples aren’t obscene — nipples are of course wonderful! — but the dark skin surrounding the nipple is dangerous to teens, you see:

Facebook said the pictures violate the company’s policy on obscene, pornographic or sexually-explicit material, because of the display of the aureola – the dark skin around the nipple. Reportedly, it had also threatened to terminate accounts of people who do not comply with such policy.

“We agree that breast-feeding is natural and beautiful, and we’re very glad to know that it is so important to some mothers to share this experience with others on Facebook,” said Facebook spokesman Barry Schnitt.

The company insists it is not about obscenity, but more about safety. The policies are to ensure the site remains safe, secure and trusted by its users, who also include teenagers.

Mr Schnitt said only photos which showed the aureola have been removed and others left intact.

I know if I had teens who were big Facebook users, I’d be losing sleep at night worrying about all the aureola-skin they might see on Facebook. Yup, that would be my number one concern about teen safety in connection with a social networking site. Boy howdy.

Memo to Tony Comstock: Did you know that when you turn on Google’s SafeSearch filtering, it filters out most of the internet dictionary pages that will tell you what “aureola” means? Yup, even the dictionaries that limit themselves to art and astronomy and never even mention the medical meaning. Citizen, nipples aren’t safe even when you’re a doctor and want to talk about them in Latin! It’s not even safe to teach people the words!