ErosBlog

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Fake Breast Enlargement Cream

Friday, February 26th, 2021 -- by Bacchus

The “patent medicine” era ended in the USA with the institution of mostly-effective regulations against putting any old shit in a bottle or jar and then straight-up lying about which of your health concerns it would fix. It continues to this day, though, with products about which no claims are made. How do you sell such products? Really strong innuendo.

estrogenic bust cream

This “estrogenic hormone bust cream” from the back pages of Sports Fiction magazine in December of 1947 is a classic of the genre. There’s no mistaking the implied claim, even while the small print disclaims it with a robust “we make no claims, promises, or representations of any kind whatever for this cream.” One might reasonably wonder what the advertisement would look like if that were actually true!

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Hydro-Powered Breast Massagers

Wednesday, February 14th, 2018 -- by Bacchus

Check out this gallery of vintage French quack breast-enlargement devices powered by the water power from your sink! I don’t have enough French to evaluate all of the advertising claims in these vintage advertisements; I see a lot of “massosein” and a little bit of “dĂ©veloppĂ©” and “embellis” and quite a bit of “affirmis” but I don’t have the linguistic nuance to tell just how wildly over-the-top the false claims were for this doohickey. Knowing how similarly-useless devices were marketed in English, I’m assuming these ads are screamingly fraudulent by today’s standards, but that’s just a guess:

I’m also not sure just how old these ads might be, although I suspect someone familiar with the way French postal addresses have changed over time could probably peg it for us in the comments within a few decades.

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