Breast Milk Extraction In The Future Gig Economy

In this artwork from a dystopian near future, human breast milk sales are just another gig-economy staple, not limited to already-nursing mothers with a surplus. Anybody with the right glands can take a few tailored hormone pills, put up a listing on Breastsy.milk, and start scheduling regular visits to the neighborhood extraction clinic. The new rapid extraction technology saves a lot of time but is not even remotely pleasant. It’s said to be a patented blend of vacuum, highly-variable electricity, and computer-controlled mechanical pressure, but of course the details are corporate and intensely proprietary:

Artwork is by Nonoririn, who has a Patreon.

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“Will You Have Milk In Your Tea?”

There are those who swear by the taste of human breast milk, the fresher the better:

Art is from a 1970s issue of Kitan Club.

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Freshly-Pumped Wife Juice

It turns out that there’s a guy named Steve who does a bit called “Steve, Don’t Eat It!” In which bit he samples various comestibles and near-comestibles for science, and shares the hilarious results with us. From Pickled Pork Rinds to prison wine, he seems pretty fearless.

And then one day he noticed something handy in the refrigerator:

One day I realized that a perfectly viable “Steve Don’t Eat It” candidate has been sitting right under my nose for months. Right in my very own refrigerator. And it came right out of my wife! No, I’m not talking about that giant cucumber, perv. I’m talking about breast milk.

That’s right. And not just a little drop off the odd finger, but a genuine slug of freshly-pumped wife juice. (I’ll go ahead and ignore the shiver I just got, and keep typing.)

…

I must admit that my aversion to drinking breast milk is something of a double-standard. Let me try to put this as delicately as I can out of respect to my female readers… but some women have been known to willingly “ingest” a certain dubious “body fluid” made by men, during moments of “intimacy.” (These moments are known as “blow jobs.” These women are known as “awesome.”)

Nevertheless, I couldn’t bring myself to just do the whole shot at once, so I started out with a little girly sip.

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A Little Milk For Your Cheerios

I found this uncredited on a tumblr site, but in a fitting irony, I’ve forgotten which one:

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Milker #37

It’s been awhile since y’all have enjoyed a 4chan moment here at Eros Blog:

I’ve heard that conditions on dairy farms were appalling, but I had no idea!

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