Don’t “Compete” With Porn
Monday, July 27th, 2015 -- by Bacchus
In one of his trademark long smart articles, Dr. Marty Klein addressed the many concerns of wives who are dismayed by spousal porn-watching. The entirety of Your Husband Watches Porn — Now What? is worth reading, but I thought his response to “I can’t compete with those damn women who perform in porn films” was worth repeating here:
The idea that a woman has to compete with the women or activities in porn films is fascinating. Of course, some women feel they have to compete with Scarlett Johansson and Beyonce; that’s a fool’s errand that no one should attempt (they are professionals; do not attempt to do their job in your home).
If you try to compete with mega-stars of course you’ll try to compete with Rosie Cheex; but if you’re smart enough to realize you can’t match the Beyonce machine, please let go of Candye Kisses as well.
While making superficial comparisons is inevitable, most men know that porn is a fantasy, not a documentary; no one actually expects his girlfriend to pay the pizza delivery man with oral sex, and no grownup really expects his partner to look or act like a porn star.
Porn or no porn, every man and woman has to figure out how to feel OK with themselves when they don’t look as good as others, have as much money as others, or have jobs or children as prestigious as others. This is the fundamental existential task of all people who want to enjoy life, and porn didn’t invent it.
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