On The Sexual Underestimation Of Eunuchs

There is a frequent tendency in both history and erotic literature to underestimate the erotic capacity of eunuchs.

Whether this tendency is merely a useful dramatic device, or whether it reflects a more-resilient human sexuality than the one imagined by whomever was doing all the castrating, I could not pretend to know. So far as I can remember, the Game of Thrones scriptwriters have not yet explored any sexual capacity Varys the eunuch may retain. No such self-restraint is on display in the Hustler production This Ain’t Game Of Thrones XXX, a Hustler parody film available here and here. Indeed the parodic Varys appears to retain all of his parts in firm working order, a surprise for parody-Cersei that she is determined to enjoy:

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Sansa And Tyrion’s Wedding Night Do-Over

Parody and porn have a long and happy mutual history. A lot of early porn directly and viciously parodied figures from religion and nobility. Modern porn often borrows from and parodies popular movies and television, no extra charge for a sleazy punning title. And while I don’t always enjoy porn parodies, they are at their best when they take a familiar story in a more sexual direction, offering us sexual might-have-beens that we could hope to get in no other way.

Case in point: the TV show Game Of Thrones, which is chock-full of uncomfortable sex and a bit short on the cheerfully consensual variety. Thus, the Hustler production This Ain’t Game Of Thrones XXX (available online at Hustler Parodies, which is part of the Hustler Mega Pass offering) has a lot of chances to show us more-satisfying sex scenes than the show itself ever featured. One of my favorite scenes in This Ain’t Game Of Thrones is the marital consummation that never happened between Sansa Stark and Tyrion Lannister. Marie McCray makes a very plausible Sansa, and if you are in the camp that thinks Sansa missed a chance at some amazing virgin-bride-with-experienced-husband sex on the show, she fully redeems herself in the parody:

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Game Of Thrones: All The Whores

Daze of Daze Reader is one of the few sex bloggers on my blogroll who has been at this longer than me. But he’s still got it, turning out some excellent posts, like this one:

A Who’s Who Of Whores In Game Of Thrones

It’s an encyclopedic reference to all the appearances of all the whores in the television show, complete with screen shots. As one who thinks that the show is made better by regularly showing us people getting on with their lives the way folks do by fucking, talking, and scheming simultaneously, I find the compilation quite enjoyable.

On nomenclature: I have never been one to throw the word “whore” around casually, on the blog or off it. But Daze chose to use it for (what I take to be) literary reasons that seem to him good, and I’m mirroring his usage because it’s his blog post I’m referencing. Here’s Daze on his reasons:

A note on language: some other sites have made reference to “sex workers” of Game of Thrones. A more respectful term than “whores”, certainly, but it rings false for the fictional world portrayed in the show. As Ellaria Sand says when Olyver addresses her as “my lady”:

Oh, I’m not a lady.

A term of courtesy in this establishment.

A lie, anywhere. Why not use the right words? I’m a bastard. She is a whore. And you’re a, what, a procurer.

Bluntness has value. With all due respect to sex workers fictional and real, we’ll stick with “whores” here.

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Bacchus, Checking In

‘Tis a pity there’s no god of wine and fornication in the Game of Thrones universe, but it didn’t stop me from laughing aloud when I saw this moment go by on HBO:

Found here (backup link here).

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Game Of Thrones Sex

Violet Blue has a post here about the sex scenes in the recently-ended first season of the TV show Game Of Thrones. That show was closely attended here chez Bacchus, and the lush visuals were only one of the reasons: