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Airtight Bride

Sunday, January 7th, 2024 -- by Bacchus

The word “airtight” is a relatively-recent piece of sexual slang that means just what you imagine: a woman with a cock in every hole, so she becomes, at least metaphorically, air tight. Yes, I suspect the allusion to a blowup sex doll is deliberate, although I don’t have the linguistic chops to prove it. For a bride on her wedding night, the full airtight experience is easy to arrange, at least if the groom and his groomsmen share a cooperative turn of mind:

bridal gangbang scene setup with five guys putting their hands on the bride

bride still in her dress with a cock in every hole

These photos are from Airtight Sluts, which is a compilation video that’s one of the top twenty Kink.com scenes when sorted by popularity.

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Same Dick Forever

Saturday, July 31st, 2021 -- by Bacchus

It is the custom, I know, for groomsmen or bridesmaids to “decorate” the getaway vehicle the newlyweds will drive away in. Sometimes these pranks are brutally reductive about the institution of marriage:

same dick forever prank newlyweds car decoration

Custom or not, I believe there’s merit in a couple choosing to secure their transportation against this sort of levity. It would not be excessive to park in some hidden place a few miles away and then surprise everyone by driving off in a Uber.

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