Anal Sex: It DOES Make Your Butt Bigger

I surrender. Pursuit of truth must yield to gender solidarity in this instance. This really works, honest!

Perhaps you may remember this post from 2007, discussing a seemingly-innocent query on a health forum from a young lady whose boyfriend had convinced her that regular anal sex would help her enlarge her “really flat butt”. I assumed then it was a prank or a troll post, but it was so funny I had to share it. I never imagined it was an actual meme at large in society.

The evidence from my search logs suggests otherwise. Today I got a search for “will anal sex ass bigger?”

Uh, yes. Yes, it will. But you have to do it a lot.

Moving on: there’s a sense in which we are, all of us, constructing a very imperfect model of the universe in our minds, to enable us to predict the consequences of our actions. This model, necessarily primitive, includes rules and concepts regarding how things work. What must a person’s causation model look like, I wonder, for the “anal sex could make my butt bigger” meme to fit comfortably within it? Of what other notions could such a person be profitably persuaded?