Haunted Assholes: The 2021 Kink.com Halloween Sale

I just about fell out of my chair laughing when I saw the banners for Kink.com’s Halloween Sale this year. The theme is apparently “cartoonishly-haunted assholes” and if a hairy eyeball in one performer’s privates doesn’t make you laugh, the waving technicolor tentacle in the other one’s anus really ought to!

Tentacle sex is not unheard of in the vast Kink Unlimited porn library, but it is somewhat rare. Nonetheless I was indeed able to find a couple of shoots in which a pair of fan-favorite Kink performers took on some huge sucker-y tentacles on the Fucking Machines channel. Here they are: Sensi Pearl’s tentacle-sex shoot and Katy Kox’s tentacle-sex shoot too!

Perhaps you thought that the waving purple ass-tentacles at the top of the post were as over-the-top as it was possible for a porn-marketing graphics department to get. If so, I’m sorry, but I am forced to help you revise your thinking. You haven’t seen a properly haunted asshole until you’ve seen three gaseous ghosts taking advantage of a pornified anal-dilation situation to escape from their accustomed hellish colonic depths:

None of this Halloween levity nor any of the totally-sophisticated implied fart jokes should distract you from the serious bargain that this sale represents. For the spooky low price of $66 for six months (regular price is about forty bucks for one month) you can join Kink Unlimited, and they promise to offer you that same low price at rebilling time until, as they put it with appropriate holiday flavor, you die! The applicable coupon code is “Kink666” but if you follow any of the links in this post, you should expect to find that code pre-populated for you and the sale price offered automatically. (Until November 2, when the sale ends.)

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Bug-Eyed Rubber Monster
• Kink.com "Screaming Deals" 2020 Halloween Discount
• Scared Stiff: The 2019 Kink.com Halloween Sale
• The State of Kink Unlimited's Union
• Abducted For Alien Pleasure
• Sci-Fi Virtual-Reality Double Penetration: The Mechafork
• Creepy Clown Gangbang
• Sacrificing Virgins The Kink.Com Way
• I For One Welcome Our New Sex Robot Overlords

Kink.com “Screaming Deals” 2020 Halloween Discount

There’s really nothing like a really excellent Halloween costume party. People in masks, lots of booze, inhibitions down, lots of dimly lit spaces for anonymous sexual shenanigans, all kinds of cosplay sex opportunities to loosen libidos… It’s good clean dirty fun.

Alas, 2020 is not the year for attending sexy costume parties. But if your mental health is suffering in your oh-so-lonely responsible isolation, let’s be blunt: watching porn and getting yourself off is probably the best self-care going. And by now, you may be growing weary of the abbreviated clips and intrusive ads at your preferred “free” porn tube. Now is arguably the time to treat yourself with a discounted subscription to 100+ channels of kinky porn. And if you join Kink Unlimited this Halloween weekend, it’s half price. It ain’t rocket surgery: get on that deal!

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Scared Stiff: The 2019 Kink.com Halloween Sale
• The State of Kink Unlimited's Union
• Creepy Clown Gangbang
• Leaving My Halloween Party
• Sacrificing Virgins The Kink.Com Way
• "Take Me To Your ... Costume Designer"