Lust And Respect

I’ve described my goal here at ErosBlog as blogging about sex and porn with an unapologetic, unabashed male gaze … while striving not to be a complete dickhead about sex, about women, about porn models, about sex workers. The degree to which I succeed may be debatable, but I’ve never felt a lustful-yet-respectful male gaze was an impossible or unreasonable goal. I’m aware, yes, of a political camp that equates gaze with disrespect, or with objectification that in its own turn is equated with disrespect — but as a political matter, I categorically reject those views, and attempt to refute them, by example, to the best of my ability.

So you’ll appreciate the fascination with which I read this from Miss Maggie Mayhem:

The young man I pass who looks me up and down and gives me a sincere smile and eye contact does not have the same intentions as the car filled with young men matching my pace and shouting at me as I walk down the street. Respect is not indicated by abstaining from a sexual gaze. Respect is recognizing the fact that it might not be mutual and being alright with that and not acting in a way that imposes it on another human being against their own desire and autonomy. To say that you shouldn’t ever look at a stranger across the room and get turned on is to say that you shouldn’t ever fall in love at first sight.

You preach it, sister!

Lesbian Asterisk Pussy?

Once or twice before I’ve gotten inbound links from the very hip and very cool Autostraddle, which describes itself as “an intelligent, hilarious & provocative voice and a progressive online community for a new generation of kickass lesbian, bisexual & otherwise inclined ladies.”

I tend to take links from sources like this as a sort of “mission accomplished” compliment. Yes, I’m a straight guy who blogs mostly male-gaze porn with male-gaze commentary. Does that mean I have to be creepy and boys-only about it? I’ve never thought so.

But I’ve got to say, this particular inbound link had some curiously prudish and distancing anchor text that’s got me scratching my head.

The post in question was this one, and contained this line:

THIS is how they used to take a photograph of a pussy. (Emphasis and link in original.)

When they linked this post at Autostraddle, here’s the line of anchor text they used:

“This is how they used to have to take a picture of a p*ssy”

Notice what’s different?

First of all, they added the phrase “have to”. Like there was something repugnant about that perfectly delicious pussy. WTF?

And then, they asterisked the spelling of “pussy”. Again, WTF?

I’m not complaining — I’m happy for the link and the attention. But a site like that’s the last place I would expect to be pussy-squeamish. Maybe there’s another explanation I’m not getting?

Update: Riese from Autostraddle explains.