How Do You Want Me To Feel?

This is one of those posts Mistress Matisse makes from time to time that makes me regret her long-ago decision — liberating though it must be — not to host blog comments. I might have contented myself with a “Hell yah!” if she had ’em, but since she doesn’t, I’ll just post a few choice drive-by excerpts over here, and keep right on moving:

The idea that a woman can change how her male partner feels about things annoys me.

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I strongly disagree with the idea that a woman should try to redesign the inside of a man’s head. If you want a romance with someone who thinks just like you, date other women. Men are different from us. Really. Their view of the world is neither better or worse than ours, it just — is.

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If you tell a man what you wish to have done, he’ll either do it, or else he won’t. But if it’s something both of you can see, then it’s easier to discuss. Telling a man you want him to feel differently is hard to measure, and doing so rarely yields a satisfactory result for anyone, in my experience.

You preach it, sister!

(I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I have definitely been in the position of confusedly asking a woman “What is it that you want from me?” and getting back the very specific answer “I want you to feel/not feel [description of a mental state]”. Let me tell you, there are no extra points for telling her that her impossible-to-fulfill emotional demands have now filled you with existential despair. “Woman, it’s how I feel, it’s not something I can change like I change my freakin’ pants.” Nope, no points for that answer either.)