A Dick Full Of Spray Foam, Whoopsie!

Via Gizmodo and Urology Case Reports comes a novel “foreign body sexual mishap” report. Remember that people always lie about these things (“I slipped in my garage while naked and fell on my toolbox and that’s how the pipe wrench got up my ass”) so we should perhaps not take at face value the patient-report parts of this story. As the story goes, though, it appears that old boy was in the habit of having his partner insert small cylindrical objects from around the house (plastic straws and such, not proper urethral sounding toys) into his dick to help with erectile function and cock stiffness. They just happened to use the straw from a can of spray foam while leaving the can attached, when the partner “inadvertently” pressed the button, leading to a bladder and urethra full of foam. Then, of course, they waited weeks before going in for the inevitable surgical removal:

We are permitted to wonder, I think, whether the foam injection was actually deliberate, even if very unwise. But that’s not how Gizmodo tells the story:

A man and his partner’s attempt at a treatment for erectile dysfunction went disastrously wrong, according to his doctors. In a recent case report, they detail how his partner accidentally shot insulation foam into the man’s penis and bladder while a straw connected to the spray had been inserted into his urethra.

…

The 45-year-old man had been inserting various objects into his urethra for some time as an aid for erectile dysfunction. During one such occasion, he and his partner had decided to use a straw attached to a can of weatherproofing spray, when the partner “inadvertently pressed the button deploying the foam.” The foam then shot through his entire urethra, even filling up his bladder. The man waited three weeks before seeking medical attention at an emergency room, during which time he increasingly had difficulty urinating and urinating blood when he did.

…

While doctors were able to remove the foam from his bladder with relative ease, his condition meant that they couldn’t fish out the rest from his penis with minimal endoscopic surgery. Instead, they had to cut him open through his perineum (the skin between the penis and anus, also known as the taint).

Ouch.

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Solidarity With Intestinal Labor!

I have been linking to The Rectal Foreign Bodies page since 2004. The problem they cover has not gone away in that time, but the quality of radiological imaging has dramatically improved:

Another thing that hasn’t changed changed is the fundamental safety rule that anything that goes up your butt should have a wider base, no matter how big it is to start with.

Image via @gretchenscience on Twitter.

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Rectal Foreign Bodies Trophy Wall

ErosBlog has linked before to the venerable Rectal Foreign Bodies page, which is (or ought to be) an internet landmark — as well as an object lesson about the dangers of reckless rectal curiosity.

Thus, it does not entirely surpass belief that in some rude provincial medical facility in Russia, the medical staff might maintain what certainly looks to be a rectal foreign bodies trophy wall:

Novel Use For Surplus Zucchini

Did I just write “surplus zucchini?” I repeat myself.

Have twice refused well-intentioned gifts of zucchini and squash in just the past week, I can testify that it’s the time of year when surplus zucchini bags itself up and roams the neighborhood, looking for unguarded porches to colonize. There’s a modern American folk tale in common currency about the man so desperate to rid himself of surplus zucchini that he bagged it up and left it in his unlocked car in a busy parking lot, hoping someone would steal it. When he came back, what did he find? Why, three bags of zucchini!

Rule 34: If it exists, there is porn of it.

Proof: This post at Spanking Blog. Click the first link in the post for the most graphic demonstration one could hope for.

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