Shell leads us on by talking about having a lovely secret. Then, in abject refusal to conform to stereotypes of feminine illogic, she declines to share it with us.

The Group Captain comments (at Shell’s blog [now gone]), and accuses her of being a tease. I think he’s right.

But that’s OK. She’ll talk. We have just the thing for, ah, encouraging her:

Readers are encouraged to imagine the sound of booming villainous laughter as this evil scheme is set in motion.