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Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality
September 27th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
When I saw a reference to the 1938 film How To Undress In Front Of Your Husband, I was hoping for some sort of vintage-porn-loop version of those “Learn To Strip For Your Husband” books that were such a thing in the 1970s. And I got it, more or less — but it came with a hot-mess bowlful of misogynistic “wives are whores” nonsense, body-shaming drivel, and slapstick peeping-tom consent-violations comedy. Sample narration: “You know, the average woman will use every bit of feminine trickery at her command to sell herself to the man she loves…until she lands him. And after that, she just sends him monthly invoices.”
Honestly, my favorite part of the film is the campy scroll at the beginning, which uses preposterous claims about marriage to frame and justify the subsequent G-rated clips of Elaine Barrie Barrymore undressing in her boudoir, supposedly all unknowing that she’s being filmed by a Peeping Tom:
So, yeah, here’s the movie, warts and all. I find this sort of thing fascinating (artifacts of culture and all that) even when all the toxic messages are so loud they threaten to drown out the sexy bits:
September 26th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
When you’re touristing in a politically unstable place, it’s important to leave before the coup. Or, as the immortal John Willie put it, “take care you don’t get into such a mess in the first place!”
From the Dofantasy comic The Coup: Victims, by Moffett.
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September 25th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
She was finally getting almost the perfect fantasy threesome she always dreamed about. A tropical beach, floral breezes, palm trees, two hunky men paying her their undivided sexual attention…
…Yeah. About that. There may be a little flaw:
Via Kinky Delight.
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September 24th, 2016 -- by Bacchus
After running the same website for more than fourteen years, I can tell you that eventually it starts to feel somewhat the same as I imagine it might feel to be one of the last living veterans of some ancient war. It becomes so rare to see another website that was already a going concern when you got started, that you react to these fellow veterans with a certain joy-of-recognition and pleasure in-seeing-them, as if they were your old comrades in a struggle mostly forgotten. At least, that’s how I feel these days when I land at Literotica, which was several years old — and already enormous — when Erosblog got started back in 2002.
Literotica, for those who don’t know, is a huge repository of free online erotic fiction. The site is, in my opinion, the direct spiritual descendant of various erotic story newsgroups such as alt.sex.stories that flourished on Usenet before the the web was invented. The defining characteristic of all such electronic erotic story collections (again in my opinion) was and remains their predominantly fetish nature; before the age of the internet there were other places to find “mainstream” erotic fiction (remember the “Anonymous” section in urban book stores?) but very few such existed for anything kinky. Hence the most important raison d’être (although certainly not the only one) at all such sites is to be found in their extensive BDSM story collections.
Literotica does not disappoint in this regard, featuring more than 26,000 stories in its BDSM stories section alone:
The following excerpt, from the beginning of a lengthy and well-crafted story about a woman who binds herself in her own house to be discovered in that helpless state by her sexy roofer, is an utterly classic example of the free online BDSM story genre:
Back downstairs, a single strand of white rope now dangled above Claire’s head as she gathered the rest of the items she needed. Ankle cuffs soon adorned her feet and she fed the open ends of a pair of handcuffs through the loop of rope above her. She then grabbed the last three items she needed and sat on the floor before the rope.
First was a metal bar about thirty inches long. Claire spread her legs on the white carpet and linked each end of the bar to her ankle cuffs. She then struggled to her feet and, balancing awkwardly, picked up the other two items. First she pressed the large leather blindfold over her eyes. Tying it tight pressed thick foam pads against her eyelids, preventing her from opening them. Her world became pitch black.
Next came a harness gag, black straps with a deep red silicone ball. Nervous exhales fogged the surface as she held it to her lips. Claire refused to hesitate, and pressed the large orb between her teeth. She’d bought this ball precisely because it tested her, because she’d never look forward to wearing it. She wanted something that made her feel helpless, and tugged at the strap behind her neck until the it bit into her cheeks and stretched her lips, fought the chin strap until the ball smothered her tongue, and tightened the other strap over her the top of her head until her jaw gripped it like a vise. Her voice was reduced to incoherent moans, just like she hoped.
Blindly, Claire reached up and found the cuffs dangling above her. She could undo everything up to this point. She could take it all back. But once those cuffs clicked into place, her fate would no longer be her own. The feel of cold steel electrified her, and Claire took the plunge. The handcuffs clicked.
And from the second she pulled at her hands, and found them locked above her, Claire grew nervous. She was alone in her home, bound and naked, with the roofer scheduled to arrive at nine. When was nine, anyway?
If, like so many people, you enjoy reading free BDSM stories (or stories about any imaginable sexual preference or combination, truly) sites like Literotica have probably been your mainstay for quite some time. True, there’s a lot of chaff among the grain; you’ve got to learn to read with a selective filter and be brutal about bypassing stories that offend you, or that merely fail to entertain. It’s no problem, though, because the body of erotic work is so very large, there’s always another page you can click with more story titles and summaries to entice you.
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September 23rd, 2016 -- by Bacchus
When these high-ranking military dudes get on an opulent galleon for a long ocean voyage, they like to travel in style, and they don’t plan on getting lonely:
Via Kinky Delight. Art is by Milo Manara.
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September 22nd, 2016 -- by Bacchus
Yet another richly-drawn panel by Phenix, from the graphic novel Passion At Notre Dame:
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September 21st, 2016 -- by Bacchus
This post is about a story out of Canada regarding the criminal trial of a man accused of smuggling a metric buttload of pure gold out of the Royal Canadian Mint. But as you read this story, remember that it’s entirely based on speculation and circumstantial evidence. The Royal Canadian Mint never noticed any missing gold, they don’t know if there even is any gold missing, and our man was never actually caught with any gold in his actual butt:
An employee of the Royal Canadian Mint allegedly smuggled about $180,000 in gold from the fortress-like facility, possibly evading multiple levels of detection with a time-honoured prison trick.
Hiding the precious metal up his bum.
All they really know is that he worked in the Mint and was selling a lot of gold:
Court was told that, on multiple occasions, Lawrence took small circular chunks of gold — a cookie-sized nugget called a “puck” — to Ottawa Gold Buyers in the Westgate Shopping Centre on Carling Avenue.
Typically, the pucks weighed about 210 grams, or 7.4 ounces, for which he was given cheques in the $6,800 range, depending on fluctuating gold prices, court heard. He then deposited the cheques at the Royal Bank in the same mall.
One day a teller became suspicious at the size and number of Ottawa Gold Buyers cheques being deposited and Lawrence’s request to wire money out of the country. She then noticed on his account profile that he worked at the Mint.
The “pucks” he sold were suspiciously similar to the pucks he worked with in the Mint:
The Crown was able to show the pucks precisely fit the Mint’s custom “dipping spoon” made in-house — not available commercially — that is used to scoop molten gold during the production process.
Lawrence, who has since been terminated, was an operator in the refinery section. Among his duties was to scoop gold from buckets so it could be tested for purity, as the Mint prides itself on gold coins above the 99 per cent level.
But how did he get them out of the mint? Could the Vaseline in his locker have been involved?
Court was told Lawrence set off the metal detector at an exit from the “secure area” with more frequency than any other employee — save those with metal medical implants. When that happened, the procedure was to do a manual search with a hand-held wand, a search that he always passed.
Investigators also found a container of vaseline in his locker and the trial was presented with the prospect that a puck could be concealed in an anal cavity and not be detected by the wand. In preparation for these proceedings, in fact, a security employee actually tested the idea, Barnes said.
Wait, what?
…a security employee actually tested the idea…
Yes, gentle reader, your wondering eyes do not deceive you. A security employee of the Royal Canadian Mint actually volunteered — or was ordered — to shove a greased seven-ounce puck of solid gold up his or her ass so that they could test the vital question of whether it could be detected by the hand-held metal detectors used for backup screening. I ask you, is that dedication to your job, or is that dedication to your job?
And further consider this: the “let’s test these wands” project had to be documented fairly well, or what’s the point of the exercise? Somewhere in the bowels (you will forgive this pun if you forgave the “metric buttload” characterization at the top of the post) of the Royal Canadian Mint, there is almost certainly video of a security guard waddling through a checkpoint with an extra half-a-pound of unaccustomed gravity in his or her stride while Canadian-polite co-workers try very hard to act like nothing abnormal is happening…
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