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ErosBlog: The Sex Blog

Sex Blogging, Gratuitous Nudity, Kinky Sex, Sundry Sensuality
July 25th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

The Sex Club How-To

I joined a teen-age sex club

I come from a long line of men who, in my family, all run to varying degrees of in-person social discomfort, possibly due to some sort of mild spectrum disorder. If that’s what it is, it’s necessarily undiagnosed, because we are emphatically not the sort of men who voluntarily seek medical attention unless there is chest pain or spurting arterial blood. Moreover, we come from the social class where our imagination of mental health care (imagination of it being all that we have) is a Loony Tunes vision of something imposed by predatory men in white coats who come in a van with their straitjackets and a net on a long pole, preparatory to hauling us off to a room with padding on the walls.

However much or little of this social discomfort issue any one of us may endure, one common nuance of it is an extreme aversion to doing anything where we “don’t know the program”; I once saw my father refuse to eat at a fancy wedding brunch buffet because he’d never seen a buffet before that had servers at stations (like an omelette station) and he didn’t “know the program.” He was, basically, paralyzed and willing to forgo thirty-five bucks worth of all-you-can-eat chow because he didn’t know how he was supposed to interact with a catering employee. I had to get him a plate. (No, I’m not free of the disorder; I just avoided all the stations that had terrifying paper hats behind them, which the men in our family would consider “above-average coping skills”.)

Needless to say, we are not the sort of men who would voluntarily participate in an orgy or visit a sex club. Too many strangers and, it can be inferred from first principles, too obviously a set of necessary behavior protocols that we don’t know. It’s just not going to happen. We don’t know the program.

Still: although a visit to a sex club would likely be an impossibly large ask for one of us, we can and do learn new programs, albeit slowly and at no small cost in psychological stress. And one of the ways we do that is by doing lots of advance research and preparation. Hence I’m always fascinated by “how to” articles about activities where I don’t “know the program” and would thus be unlikely to do the thing. Slotting firmly into that category is Navigating a Sex Club for the First Time by Red Hot Suz, who offers about a dozen different tips and suggestions that will ease your first visit to a sex club. Reading the article doesn’t make it more likely that I’ll take my odd little bundle of inherited social phobias to a sex club any time soon, but it should smooth the way for more adventurous types. Consider this sensible suggestion from the Interacting With People section:

Flirting. Most clubs have an Ask Once policy, meaning that you can only approach a person/group of people once to ask to join them. If they say no, you cannot ask again. However, a good amount of people in attendance are open to talking and flirting, and maybe playing if the connection is right. Just because you’re at a sex club does not mean that you don’t have to try. Be as respectful as possible, and be as charming as you would be on a date.

Much more good sense of this sort awaits ye who go to read the whole thing.

Credit: The image at the top of the post is by good-girl artist Bob Powell and is from the story “I Joined A Teen-Age Sex Club” in First Love Illustrated #13 (1951).

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July 24th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Pretty Squid Bait

Any time there’s an encounter between a giant squid and a pretty swimming woman, her swimsuit is inevitably the first casualty:

helpless nude woman swimmer in tentacles of a giant squid

From the cover of Serie Inferno: Abissi.

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July 23rd, 2017 -- by Bacchus

The Archbishop Can Suck It

religious autofellatio gargoyle carving

The image above comes from a breezy-but-detailed investigation of the phenomenon of autofellatio through the ages, as written by C. Brian Smith for Mel Magazine. In A Cultural History of Men Sucking Their Own Dicks, Smith shares the archbishop-autofellatio corbel photograph with this explanation:

A statue of Archbishop of Cologne Konrad von Hochstaden blowing himself sits atop the 14th-century Cologne City Hall. Some say the archbishop was unpopular among stone-carvers because he put a large tax on “hops” in beer so they created the statue in defiance. Others believe it’s a modern incarnation (circa 1950) meant to replace a statue destroyed during World War II. If so, the modern sculptor was having a laugh at the expense of his employers and future generations. Either way, gargoyle sculptures like this were known to be self-indulgent jokes by the artists of the day.

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July 21st, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Sexy Time In Computer Lab

Computer lab was never like this for me, but one constant remains: the oblivious geek with his face in the screen!

lesbian fun in the computer lab

From an Italian pulp cover.

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July 20th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

When His Wife Catches Him

This conversation about a husband “getting caught” watching porn does not end in any way you are likely to predict from the short fair excerpt I am quoting here. Read the whole thing, you will likely laugh:

My Wife: What are you doing?

Me: Don’t come in here!

Her: Why? Are you watching porn?

Me: You’re supposed to be in the other room writing slash fiction!

Her: Walter White and Jesse Pinkman can wait. Let me see what you’re watching.

Me: This is my man-cave time! Don’t—

Her: Come on! Let me see!

Me: No! I—

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July 19th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

Down Alice’s Rabbit Hole

I think it’s safe to say that “down the rabbit hole” has a new meaning for Alice now:

down alice's little brown anal rabbit hole

Art is by Jackanita.

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July 17th, 2017 -- by Bacchus

…And A Bucket Of Elbow Grease

christmas in july stockroom sale banner

Although I have been stalwart about sticking to my resolution not to junk up this blog with announcements for every little promotion that a sex toy vendor tries to tempt us with, I remain unabashed about sharing the best sales from my favorite toy source, which has been The Stockroom since before this blog existed. With discounts that reach 80% this time, I don’t feel the least bit apologetic! It’s true: when I saw that this year’s Christmas in July sale includes a ridiculously large silicone dildo for a fifth of the normal price, I failed my savings throw. The Tantus Cisco silicone dildo is just $24.93 (normally $126) and…just look at it! That’s a lot of dildo for under twenty-five bucks:

cisco by tantus ass dildo

Although the sale nominally runs through July 27, I wouldn’t expect this particular item to stay in stock at this price throughout. From the sales copy:

Cisco by Tantus is our prime anal toy for size-queens. If you’re all about size, look no further! Cisco has over 10 inches of insertable length, plus a massive shaft of ribbed delight, with a rounded top and five rings of fun. The silicone Cisco is boilable, odorless, non-toxic and dishwasher safe.

You wouldn’t want to insert a thing like that into anyplace you cared about without having plenty of lube on hand, so it’s convenient that The Stockroom also sells the famous Elbow Grease lube literally by the bucket. It’s not cheap when you buy it buy the gallon, but it is famous, and (during the sale at least) 25% off:

elbow grease famous for fisting and anal play

Like I said, this lube is famous:

Elbow Grease Original Formula has been formulated under strict standards to ensure the best quality possible. This mineral oil based lubricant is a thick cream; long-lasting for ultimate sensual pleasure. Elbow Grease is the oldest sexual lubricant on the market, dating back to 1979. It’s been a best seller for years and will not disappoint. Use only with polyurethane condoms. Do not use with latex condoms.

In addition to sex toys and lube, the XXXmas In July sale also has a considerable assortment of discounted BDSM gear. Enjoy!

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