Another Goddess of Refined Taste

With a name like Da Goddess, y’all knew it was just a matter of time before I checked her out. Sure enough, when I did I discovered that she’s also a goddess of fine taste. To wit, her commentary on men’s heads:

Some of the sexiest men I know have very little hair, if they have hair at all.

Sing it, sister! Just as Bacchus expounds on many women’s discomfort with their varying smells, I simply don’t understand why so many men seem to think hair is sexier than bald. And all that crazy stuff some of them do to try to disguise the obvious … that’s even worse.

I dated a young, balding guy for awhile, and one of the sexiest things about him (in addition to his mostly-smooth top) was the self-confidence he displayed, in going against the Rogaine, hair-plug, hair-paint crowd that insinuates that a guy has to have hair to be sexy. He was hot!

Now maybe I can find a sexy shot of a bald guy to close the week on…meantime, you can go read Da Goddess’s mini-rant on men’s heads. Pretty site, too. :D

Sweetness Indeed

Okay, so I’m still getting caught up on stuff here. But a recent story at Sweetness Follows captures pretty completely why I’m bumming about not having somebody to play with:

Today was one of those days. Mike secretly set the alarm half an hour earlier than usual, so we started our day with some very gentle, but very intense, lovemaking.

The whole entry is short, but sweet indeed.

Capable…Of What?

Bacchus said that he was leaving you dear readers in my capable hands. Trouble is, he didn’t say what they’re capable of.

I’ve been sick, and I’ve been bummed–that’s why I haven’t brought my hands around here for awhile. I’m bummed because both contenders have been scared off–at least, that seems to be what’s going on. Turns out one was married, and when I said I didn’t have any problem with that, as long as we weren’t going to be keeping secrets and playing games, he vanished. Contender Number 1 hasn’t exactly said bye-bye, but as we got closer he started making comments about the difference in our ages…I think that squicked him more than he wants to admit. I’ll be surprised if I hear from him again.

So, it’s a good thing I put out that request for product information when I did. Maybe my “capable hands” can handle one of them without losing it. (And many thanks to all who’ve chipped in with an opinion!)

Rather than leaving on a depressing note (I’ll get over being bummed soon enough), this poem by Katriana is quite nice, and gets me warm in a lovely way. Hope y’all enjoy it too.

Tales From The Nevada Desert

So the Nymph and I are taking a shortcut through the Nevada desert, when we pass the gates of a huge mine complex. About a mile away we come upon a business at the side of the road. Large complex of ratty trailers, no obvious doorway or front entrance — and of course we are passing at 80 MPH so we don’t get a good look. But there’s a huge faded plywood billboard featuring two teddy bears hugging.

Squealed The Nymph: “Oooh! Teddy bears!”

Meanwhile I’m reading aloud the words on the sign: “The Affection Connection….”

The Nymph: “What kind of store is that, way out here?”

Me: “Rural Nevada where prostitution is legal, ratty trailers, hundreds of well-paid horny mine workers — Baby, I don’t think they are selling teddy bears.”

I swear, she didn’t stop blushing for at least sixty miles. I did offer to take us back and ask if they had a gift shop, but she wasn’t interested for some odd reason….

No Sex For Arnold

Yahoo News reports that Arnold slept on the couch (figuratively speaking) after his performance at one of those political conventions:

California Gov. Arnold Schwarzenegger said on Monday that his speech backing President Bush at the Republican Convention in August resulted in a dramatic cold shoulder from his wife Maria Shriver, a member of the very Democratic Kennedy family.

“Well, there was no sex for 14 days,” Schwarzenegger told former White House Chief of Staff Leon Panetta in an on-stage conversation in front of 1,000 people. “Everything comes with side effects.”

By now y’all know the drill — this is a blog about sex, not politics. A post that touches on both subjects is not an invitation to flog your favored candidate or party in the comments. Although if you actually have pictures of someone flogging your favored candidate, by all means send ’em along!

Rolling Merrily Along

Hey everybody. Sorry about the long silence. The Nymph and I are on a most excellent driving vacation, and there were technical difficulties with the laptop connection in the first few motel rooms. Not to mention the fact (although here I go mentioning it) that there are better things to do in motel rooms with The Nymph than blog.

We even busted one bed. Yup — one place had an old queen sized bed with a busted-down box spring. It flexed just enough when we bounced on it to slip between the bed frame rails with a horrifying crunch.

Look for regular blogging to resume in a week or so! Meanwhile, I leave you in Aphrodite’s capable hands.

More Halloween Fun

Some vegetables and fruits are highly evocative of body parts. And now that pumpkin-carving season is upon us, we’ll probably see more sexy/amusing takes on that. This carving puts an ass-shaped pumpkin to good use:

Spotted at Rotten.com.

Premature E-Jack-O-lation

That’s the condition of posting an amusing sex-related Halloween pumpkin carving, but then finding a better one. To wit:

I should have known to (sing it with me!) look for the prurient label … :laugh:

Courtesy of Rotten.com.

Where Did That Weekend Go?

After finishing the database project, I thought I’d have plenty of time to do some juicy writing this weekend. But no …. between spending some time with Contender #1 (nice time, no sex yet) and helping a friend with computer problems (don’t get me started), it slipped away.

In addition, the thought of writing out this fantasy leaves me hornier than ever … so, I guess I’m gonna do it. That’s right, I’ve been browsing sex toy sites. I like Sex Toys because they have reviews.

So, at the risk of getting overloaded with TMI, I’m inviting feedback. What products do you like best, and what ones aren’t worth the money? You can leave feedback here, via comments, or (preferably) send me an email. Warning: I can receive email fine, but there’s a glitch in sending, so I won’t be able to reply through email. If you don’t want your email shared here, please say so when you write.

Maybe I should give this quest a catchy slogan …
How about “Help the Pathetic Sex Goddess Buy Her First Toy”? Nah ….
“Lubes for Nubes”? Nope …
“Get the Goddess Off!” Has possibilities. :blush:

Caviar’s Counterpart, Now on the Lunch Menu

Richard over at Amorous Propensities has a bit on sperm for lunch.

Really.

No, not a lunchtime blow job, but puffer fish sperm. It’s a delicacy in Singapore.

Go read the whole thing for the intriguing details.

Sex Advice…

…from pet store clerks. Yes, really. They see it all:

“Sometimes people come in and buy leashes, and by the look of them, you know they don’t have a pet.”

Thanks to The Bondage Blog for the link.

Ooooohhhhhh, Do I Want One of These!

Ahhh, the joys of a Friday off–sleeping late, browsing all the juicy sites with abandon, plenty of coffee…then I spotted this loading in a window and my heart jumped into my throat:

What a gorgeous suit! It comes in other colors too, but… ooooh …what could be better than that red?

I don’t remember how I got there, but this and other luscious fetishwear is available at the brand-spankin’-new Imp of Satan store. They’re located in Seattle, and say they ship worldwide. Did I hear someone say, “Road trip!”? :D

Hangliding To Escape The Commies

This humorous rant comes with a special TMI warning for men. Funny, for all that. Just the beginning:

Yes, the commies are invading. This led to a desperate 1 a.m. expedition to the store to get more supplies with which to hold off the onslaught.

This ritual, which I suppose all women must perform, is a neverending source of frustration and dread to me. I once more faced the Aisle Of The Damned. The first assault was visual, my retinas were swiftly overwhelmed with packages colored garish, Barbie-pink, soothing aqua, lively yellow, or forebrain-searing turquoise. The second assault was olfactory. Whatever unholy perfume they hose those things down with is second in offensiveness only to baby products.

Yet women still wonder why men are neither sanguine nor cheerful when asked to shop for these items?

Link via Mistress Matisse.

Time to Play, and Look What I Found …

I finally finished the big database cleanup I’ve been working on, and decided to treat myself with some fun browsing. And lookie what I found:

My sex life better improve soon! I don’t know that i can stand browsing Sssh.com much more … I just discovered their audio files. O M G …

That reminds me … I promised y’all a fantasy and haven’t delivered on it yet. I’ll try to write it up over the weekend — which starts for me in a few hours. :P

I’d Like Some!

Been mui busy on a big project here, so I’ve not been making my usual rounds. That’s how I missed this fun invitation over at My Secret Fantasies:

Aha lassy, there is pirate blood in my veins.

Lots of folks are decended from pirates ya know. You could be a pirate.

Don’t think so? You don’t have any pirate in ya?

Well then, Lassy, would ya like some?

There’s a nice picture that accompanies the rest of the post.

I wouldn’t say no to him …. :)

Post House, Ergo Propter House

“J” from The Orgy indentifies a speculative link between buying a house and decreased blowjob frequency:

My friend J2 mentioned that, since he and his girlfriend have bought a house, he’s noticed a marked decrease in blowjobs received.

I half-expected him to pull out a flip-chart with a graph on it.

Given the increasing infrequency with which I receive oral sex, I can’t imagine what might happen if the wife and I buy a house of our own.

How about it, all you real estate magnates out there? Has this happened to you? And have you got a chart to prove it?

Whores & Rakehells

According to Radosh, who has audio to prove it, a very good modern answer on Jeopardy got rejected in favor of a deeply obsolete one:

Jeopardy champion Ken Jennings is robbed of $200 when Alex Trebek rejects his response to the clue, “This term for a long-handled gardening tool can also mean an immoral pleasure seeker.”

Jennings had said, “What is a ho?” The “right” answer: “What is a rake?”

Thanks to Eugene Volokh for the link.

Naked PETA Protesters

You know those protests where PETA activists take off half their clothing, and then (usually) hide their resultant semi-nudity behind placards promoting the virtues of pleather made out of asparagus-flavored tofu? Or whatever; I suspect I’m not alone in getting distracted from the message by my attempts to find shots from a side or rear viewing angle. Assisting me in my voyeuristic efforts is this huge gallery of naked protest pictures. Trust Naked Protesters to have found the link.

The Most Popular Man at the Halloween Party

It isn’t too early to be thinking about good costumes for Halloween. I’d like to see Ashcroft deal with a person dressed like this and wanting a trick:

Think of the orgy he could spawn!!

Found at The Sun Machine.

Construction Site Sex Toon

It’s been awhile since I’ve put up a good bit of cartoonish sex art. This 1970s-looking illustration has a rough sex “she’s in deeper than she expected, but still game” feel to it, reinforced by the construction-worker cad who can’t be bothered to remove his hard-hat:

Found this one on Usenet; I believe it’s by Alazar.

Similar Sex Blogging:

• Bill Versus The Penguin
• Kinky Bride, Vanilla Groom
• The Blonde And The Ram
• A Delicious Amazon-Tarzan Sammich

Get Both Motors Running

Motorcycles are so much fun … I love the lusty engine sounds (except for Harleys, which all sound like they badly need tuneups to me), the maneuverability, the kick of the wind in my hair as we scream down twisty country roads …

And now they’ve been improved! Vibe-Rider is a cool-sounding little gizmo that goes on the passenger seat, and hitches to the engine. When the engine revs, the Vibe-Rider speeds up … and, well, you can figure out the rest, I’m sure. :laugh:

Here’s one picture of a satisfied customer from the site:

I guess someone will need to invent an absorbent leather seat next, as terrycloth would destroy the bad-boy look of bikes. :hehe:

Discovered via Daze Reader.

Mmmmmmm

Okay, so I may be further on the “Venus” side of the Mars-Venus continuum than I previously thought. I found the web site Sssh!, and oh, is it yummy! Here’s a small sample — I love having my hair washed by my lover(s):

For you astute readers who noticed, yes, the parenthetical “s” up there is intentional. I don’t know if I just needed to bitch loudly enough, or what, but I met another guy with lots of potential. Triad dreams? It’s too early for that, but [begin Beach Boys impersonation] Wouldn’t it be nice…. [end Beach Boys impersonation].

I was part of a F-M-F triad before — not a formal marriage or anything, just a roommate situation that heated up into something really fun, that lasted a couple of years — and it was great until it blew up. M-F-M sounds like even more fun for me, and I’m sure game, but it’s waaaay too early to bring it up with either of “The Contenders” (as I’ve taken to thinking of the two hotties I’ve recently discovered).

For now, I’ll just hum that Beach Boys tune and hope for the best, with either or both of them. :D

Debauchery, Sparely Described

Rarely has such delicious debauchery been so succinctly described. Just three sentences:

The last and only time I was at Exotic Erotic was when I snuck in with the Extra Action Marching Band in a Batgirl costume (carry a horn and act stoned). I got drunk and stole a wheelchair; band members took turns riding in it and giving/getting lap dances, we painted unibrows on all the guys. The band did their entire set in the men’s bathroom, and when the rubber chickens filled with blood came out, all bets were off and I found myself thrown out of Exotic Erotic around four in the morning with a bunch of very fucked up half-naked and bloody musicians.

Of course, it’s Violet Blue. Sounds like a good time — the only thing she left out was the peach preserves!

Thanks, Fred!

Fred over at Good Shit sweetly wishes my “every dream to come true”, and offers a pretty picture, plus a link to many, many more.

Thanks, Fred! My guess is that, if you’ve read my posts here, you know that the pretty-in-pink you featured, while lovely, isn’t what I’d choose to wear. I did find one item amid the sea of pink, purple, and printed florals that I really like:

More later — a very interesting new development in the works for me!

Now Really, Which is More Appealing?

I’ll admit to not being the foremost expert on breasts, but when I saw these, I couldn’t help but think, “Who could find those attractive?”:

I’m sure some do, or tits like that wouldn’t exist.

On the other hand, this painting is much more lucscious to me:

Neither one is me, just for the record.

Sex Blog Panic

This may be the funniest blog-related email I have yet received. A Yahoo email user wrote (subject line in bold):

Busted!!!?On My Ladies’ Computer, and She Works for the Government/Signing Off for Good!!!!!

I should not have been sneaking and using my ladies’ computer to Blog in but I am a sicko!!!!!

She reported your site to the police, to the States Attorney’s Office as well as sending this information to Washington!!!!!!

NO FURTHER COMMUNICATION IS, and WILL NEVER BE POSSIBLE!!!!!!

If you know what’s good for you, you’ll start heading for the hills, quick!!!!!!!!!

I know I am!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

All punctuation faithfully reproduced. I wonder, is “Overuse of Exclamation Points In The First Degree” a federal offense?

No Sex In Front Of The Cats

Although it can make free-thinkers mutter about mindless puritanism, prudent folk will frequently exclude their pets from important personal business. It’s not about worrying that your cat will see you naked. No, there’s a practical side, as you will see when reading these excerpts from a long list of cat resolutions:

When my human is taking a bubble bath, the two pinkish-brown things sticking up out of the bubbles in her chest region are NOT to be played with!

I will cease my obsession with the box my humans keep their condoms in. This box is not for me. I will not knock it on the ground, I will not sit on it, I will not try to scratch it open. Especially when my humans are using the condoms.

I will not bat at my male human’s family jewels while he is engaged in the act of mating with my female human, no matter how tempting the danglies are. My humans get mad and I might get free flying lessons.

Weekend Update

Hi everybody! Brief report here (busy, busy day):

As planned, I spent Saturday at His Place (a nice-sized property), and we did lots of fun things together. Mostly rambled around the place, walking through the woods and fields, with lots of talking and throwing sticks for his dog. At night, it’s so dark there that you can see a gazillion stars (yes, I counted! :P) and usually, all you can hear is the wind swirling through the evergreens (sometimes the barn owls make some really weird calls too).

Yes, I spent the night — but not in the sense that some of you were probably hoping for. His marvelous kissing does apply to parts other than my lips, I discovered … but no sex, yet. Neither of us is in that big a hurry. We don’t feel comfortable with it yet.

So, how can I be so happy when it’s still months since I’ve had sex and I’d make all kinds of deals with devils to get a good fuck? Easy … I don’t want my first night with him to be a fuck. I want it to be making love.

Still on track for that! :D

Not Fit for the Birds, But I’ll Eat It!

Alas, I don’t remember where I spotted this cartoon, but it’s a good one:

Score! (I Hope …)

Hi folks. Sorry for my absence lately, but I’ve got a good reason. Just when I was despairing of finding interesting single guys here, I may have scored! It’s still early in the game, but so far, so good … and he’s a marvelous kisser. (Yes, that’s important to me — it’s been a good measure of other techniques for me since high school.)

Keep your fingers crossed for me! We’re going to hang out tomorrow, and “do stuff” ……. I sure know what I’d like to do! ;)