Throughout my adult life, I’ve noticed that a standard question for sex advice columnists is the “my partner won’t orally pleasure me, what should I do?” question. And for years and years, I’ve been seeing the same sets of tired suggestions for cajoling him/her into it, leavened with the occasional “learn to do without if you really love them” advice.

Leave it to Dan Savage to put all the cards on the table and acknowledge that the head train has left the station. It’s a new century, folks, and standards are higher. The old hangups just won’t fly. Sez Dan, in a pair of word-for-word identical responses:

I’m a 24-year-old male and I lost my virginity to my girlfriend last year. She is three years younger than I am, but I am the 10th man that she has fucked. This is not a problem with me as I am not a jealous guy. What bothers me is that she is unwilling to perform oral sex on me. I enjoy giving oral to her. I am really in love with her and could see myself marrying her but I need to be assured that I will get a blowjob at some point in my life. She says she doesn’t like the taste of semen, which makes me just the slightest bit jealous because that means she has done this for other men but won’t do it for me, a man whom she is ostensibly considering marrying.

Been Lost Oral Woman

I am a GGG girlfriend, and I’m up for pretty much anything my boyfriend wants to do. I also love giving head, and he loves receiving it. But he will not reciprocate. We talked about it, and he said he just doesn’t eat pussy. This really bothers me, but should I just deal with it if I like him, or is it a dump-worthy problem?

Wanting More

Dump her, BLOW. Sucking cock can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Blowjobs are standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with blowjobs should be immediately returned to the showroom. Dump him, WM. Eating pussy can no longer be regarded as some sort of above-and-beyond-the-call indulgence. Cunnilingus is standard. Any make or model that doesn’t come with cunnilingus should be immediately returned to the showroom.

About time somebody said it.

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