July 31st, 2006 -- by Bacchus
Dating Advice Fragments
Here are two micro-fragments of dating advice from Smitten that strike me as particularly worthy:
Beware of any man who calls an ex-girlfriend or wife “that bitch.” … A man like this is guaranteed to be calling you by the same name, or something more innovative, later on to his next girlfriend who will stroke his arm and say, “I’m so sowwy she was so mean to you.”
…
Beware of men who think that every woman they work with is either stupid, a slut or la piece de resistance, a stupid slut, as there is not a chance deep down inside that they don’t think the same of you.
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1672
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=1672
I dated a guy who never mentioned his exes at all, if he could help it. I only knew a name because his best friend mentioned one once. While it was frustrating not to have my curiosity satisfied, I always respected his desire not to rehash and malign the past girlfriends. Classy.
I dated a Cobra once. I didn’t realize she was a venomous snake until her spell wore off. I can see how Adam was intrigued by serpentina. I only have myself to blame, but I just wanted to tell you to watch for snakes.
Also look out if a man hates his mother.
wait, so if a woman screws a guy over badly, he’s not allowed to call her a bitch after they break it off? is the reverse true? if a man screws a woman over badly, is she not allowed to call him a bastard? I’d say watch out if a person still uses those words in a venemous tone, it probably means they have unresolved issues.
I’d say you’d have to look at the evidence before passing judgement, yes, even in the case of a man who hates his mother. My mother has been very good to me, but I know people whose mothers have done downright unholy things to them.
Pretty good advice, if cliched and obvious. How about some decent advice for men about recognizing evil women?
Here’s a start:
1. Does she have children by more than one man?
2. Has she ever had children out of wedlock?
3. Is her net worth negative?
4. Is her net worth negative and her closet has more shoes in it than you have CDs?
5. Is she a bitch? (A bitch is a woman who controls everyone around her, male or female, by using mood as a weapon)
6. Is she a victim, repeatedly? (A repeated victim, in the developed world, is an idiot or a victimizer who’s had time enough to turn the story upside down.)
7. Has she ever hit you? (I believe you should never hit a woman. Few women believe you should never hit a man. Women are trained to believe it’s ok and somewhat cute to hit men. Therefore, a woman can be given a free pass for hitting you for one bite and one bite only. Put her in time-out for a month if she hits you even once, even “playfully.” She deserves to be made to understand that you mean it. Most women are so conditioned to think that hitting men is their cute right that they won’t take you seriously unless you get over-the-top serious. Ditch her without mercy on the second bite. If you do this, the next woman probably won’t hit you even once. People can tell who’s serious and who’s not.)
8. Does she call herself a feminist? Modern feminism is little more than a litany of post-modern excuses for female failure. No self-respecting woman is a feminist these days.
9. Does she understand anything about science or logic or politics? If not, she’s completely uninterested in what makes her life possible. She’s a spoiled child. I’m not saying she has to know a quantum from a quark, but she ought to know the temperature at which water freezes and who won World War II and why I’m my own grandpa is funny.
10. Does she like men? More often than not, women who like men don’t need them; women who need men don’t like them. It’s a lot of fun to try to keep up with a woman who doesn’t need you.
I dated a man who is so evil I was completly blinded by his lies and promises of love, with those jags of telling me I was a loser and how his cheating was my fault! LOL He was not only abusive (verbally and physically towards the end), a liar, selfish, hated his mother and his ex, but fooled me I think because he was still really close to an old old ex, not to mention his best friend was a girl. I do call him an asshole, but I also feel extremly sorry for how pityful his life must be and for that of the poor little tramp I found him in bed with (whom I warned of his shortcomings as I walked out the door) and must now be beating her too…
The only person I’ve dated that I ever thereafter sometimes referred to as a bitch was one I feel kind of deserved the monicker. She waited till I left to go work elsewhere for the summer and took 9 long days before sleeping with one of my best friends. Because, as she would say later, we were already broken up in her mind, she just hadn’t told me yet.
Wow, is it just me or are some of the commenters in this thread coming across like the men this advice was written about?
Why is it that these types of men need to have warning labels? It is because either some these qualities that are being warned against are also attractive at some level to women (moth to flame?), or that some women are seeing these men as opportunities and potential to be molded and changed.
I’m one of the few men who doesn’t do any of these negative things detailed here. You know what? I’ve never been married, and I haven’t even had a woman in my life for more than a decade. Not that any of that has been by my choice.
I agree wholeheartedly that there are signs to avoid in both sexes. The bigger problem is how to get people to stop dating those who stir their strongerst sexual urges, and start dating those who fulfill the needs that apparently are being neglected deeper into the relationship.
How many women can recall that man in their life who is straight, nice, and a great friend… who they have decided never to date out of fear of ruining that friendship? Doesn’t that doom any relationship they get into, as they fear building strong friendships with those men they are sleeping with? Why does that woman still date the man who makes her juices flow, when being close friends is so much more important and special to her?
It is not just about who to avoid. It is long overdue for being about who to seek. Temper the knowledge of what is bad, with knowledge of what is good. You know.. like the difference between criticism, and constructive criticism.
A wise man told me that the less you say, the smarter you appear to be. This must be balanced with a female’s encoded need to converse. Remember the goal. don’t get mad, don’t get even, get laid.
Advice to women: Allow the first pass to happen quickly, with the promise of a second pass implied. You will be suprised how wonderfully most men will care for your needs during this experience.