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The Sex Blog Of Record
November 15th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
Amazingly enough, versions of this Donald Trump and Bill Clinton blowjob joke have been circulating on Reddit and elsewhere for at least the last seven years:
So Donald Trump dies and he goes to hell. And when he gets there, he meets the devil, Mr. Satan himself.
And Satan says to him, listen, you’re definitely meant to be here, but we don’t have any room for you. So in order for us to accept you in, we’re gonna have to let somebody go. He says, but I’m gonna make it fair, and I’m gonna let you choose who gets to leave. So come with me.
So he takes Trump to three different doors, and he says, behind one of these doors is somebody you can set free and take their place. But like I said, I’m gonna let you make the decision.
So Donald Trump opens the first door and he sees Barack Obama, and he’s jumping off a diving board, landing in a pool, getting out of the pool, getting on the diving board and jumping back in. And he’s doing it over and over, repeatedly. And Trump goes, you know, I… I don’t think I can. You know, I don’t think I can do this for eternity. So, no, I don’t think I can do this.
Satan says, all right, we’ll check door number two. So he opens up door number two, and Richard Nixon is in there, and he’s got a hammer and he’s breaking rocks. And he just keeps breaking rocks, breaking rocks just consistently. Like, he breaks one rock, another rock appears. And Trump goes, you know, I got a bad shoulder. You know, golf injury, can’t be doing that either. So let’s go back to, uh… Let’s go check door number three.
So Satan takes him to door number three. And he opens the door and Bill Clinton is strapped to a bed. And Monica Lewinsky comes in and does what Monica Lewinsky was famous for doing, over and over and over again. Trump goes, no, yeah, I think I could… Yeah, I think I can handle this! I could get used to this. So, yeah, I’ll take door number three.
Satan smiles a big mile. Then he says all right, Monica! You’re free to go.
And… scene!
Image credits: Both images in this post were generated with the Perchance.org AI Image Generator. With due respect to people who think all uses of AI are unethical, I have been caught up in a lot of offline and private discussions on this topic in recent weeks and an emerging opinion that I am increasingly persuaded by has been that using AI to generate agitprop (highly politicized art) is fair game.
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November 14th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
I am genuinely sorry if ErosBlog is the first place where this story reaches you. On Wednesday, the House Oversight Committee released about 20,000 emails pertaining to Jeffry Epstein, and among them was an exchange in which his brother Mark asked him to enquire of Steve Bannon whether Putin “has the photos” of Trump blowing Bubba. And all this time we were waiting for the pee tape:
Who is “Bubba” in these emails? The entire internet wants to believe it’s Bill Clinton, of course, and Bubba is well known to be one of Clinton’s nicknames. However, in fairness it’s a super-common nickname; and Mark Epstein (not a reliable narrator) denied to Newsweek that Clinton was the Bubba in question. So we just don’t know… yet.
The Advocate interviewed Representative Robert Garcia, the top Democrat on the House Oversight Committee, in an attempt to gain additional context. Garcia said the committee lacks sufficient information to accurately interpret the email, adding:
“We’re not sure, actually, what that’s in reference to, obviously. So is it a joke? Is it not? Who’s he talking about? We don’t know. And which is why it’s important for people to know that these emails that we got, they’re from the Epstein estate, right? We got these emails through a subpoena through the estate, and it pales in comparison to what the Department of Justice has to get us as a committee.
There’s a massive cover-up at the White House and the DOJ right now over the files. Those are the documents that we need for us to fill in the blanks and actually put this together.”
But if Putin does indeed have photos of Trump sucking Bubba’s cock, does it even matter who Bubba turns out to be? Those photos would explain an awful lot about Trump’s peculiar subservience to Russian interests over the years.
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November 12th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
I don’t think I’ve ever stayed at a hotel fancy enough to offer genuine makeup-removing towels rather than those throw-away circular cotton pads. But if I did? I’m sure my answer would be the same as this guy:
Jessi asks her unidentified off-camera man:
Hey, baby. Um, I just wanna know. I’m very curious. If you had two options, the white towel or the beauty/makeup towel, which one would you go to, to use it as a cumrag?
The beauty one.
That’s what I thought. So you guys, all you men… use this one, that we use to clean our face?
Yeah. That’s why your faces are so good.
Oh, that’s why I have clear skin?
Yep.
Cause I use the cum rag.
That’s right.
That’s disturbing. Thank you.
You’re welcome.
She didn’t even ask him why. From her demeanor, I’m sure she just assumes it’s because men are mischievous perverts. But I’ll offer an additional two practical reasons.
First, that towel in the video looks a lot softer than the typical harsh white terry hand towels of first resort in your average hotel.
And second, jizz dries yellow. A lot of men have been shamed for leaving behind yellow crusties in their laundry whites, whenever they’ve been caught in a circumstance where they don’t have full control over their ejaculatory circumstances or their laundry circumstances either one. Picking the dark colored cumrag is learned behavior for such men. It doesn’t matter that you’ll never see the housekeepers, the behavior is coded deeper than rationality.
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November 10th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
This complaint was circulating on TikTok: “I offered to tittyfuck my husband on a personal message and apparently that’s bullying.”
Some of y’all will be saying “but that’s just the AI-automated moderation getting it wrong” which is at once true and precisely the point! Most AI tools have pornocalypse baked into them. Which means that as more and more AI gets built into our internet technology stacks, the more and more hostile those stacks will be to adult content, everywhere we go. Until you can’t even flirt with your own spouse.
I don’t know about you, but that’s not the internet future I want.
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November 8th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
I saw a cute analogy on social media the other day, attempting to explain the difference between kinky sex and vanilla sex:
Vanilla sex is like playing on a professional golf course. You’re trying to get the ball to the hole as fast and effectively as possible.
Now, kinky sex is more like putt-putt mini golf. You got ramps, you got windmills, you got things coming out of nowhere. It can be a little crazy, but sometimes also a lot of fun!
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November 6th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
This harem scene is from the 1964 “nudie cutie” film My Tale Is Hot:
According to the June 1965 issue of Monsieur magazine,
In production and technical values, the “nudies” have improved tremendously since the early efforts. True, none would qualify for an Academy Award in any category even today, but there is enough going on while the girls are not baring all that the customers don’t swamp the popcorn stand.
My Tale Is Hot is a current example. According to the distributor’s publicity department “It’s a regular panties inferno.”
Old-time, pint-size burlesk comic Little Jack Little plays Ben Hur Ova, an Arabian sheik visiting the USA, accompanied by one of his 27 wives, Myassis Ova. Meanwhile, south of the Styx, the swingingest Satan since Faust came a cropper is scheming to snatch another soul.
Satan himself is no slouch when it comes to the chick department. He is surrounded with a dozen Hades Babes, all au naturel. Now, if this is hell, heaven will just have to wait, but there is a fly in the ointment in the person of Mrs Lucifer, the original hell-cat. Madam Satan needles the old boy on every occasion, so off goes Satan to grab himself a soul — Ben Hur Ova.
From then on, it’s one tantalizing temptation after another, all wrought with Satanic magic. The temptations? What else?
Only, how do you tempt a cat who already has 27 willing wives of all sizes, shapes and dispositions? As always in the movies, good triumphs and evil is thwarted.
So be it.
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November 4th, 2025 -- by Bacchus
About fifteen years ago, a cheerleader playfully punched the mascot for the Tennessee Titans football team in the snoot. He’s a racoon. A brief tussle ensued, after which… he ate her:
I was surprised to discover that Wikipedia actually has a functional, if brief, vore article.
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