Sexy / Kinky Christmas Shopping, If You Hurry
For me, a Christmas stocking just isn’t a proper Christmas stocking if it doesn’t have some kind of sexy toy in it. Not even if it’s vinyl and has a heel:
So anyway, I had high hopes of doing a substantial and official ErosBlog sex toy Christmas Guide this year. Just for instance, I really wanted to re-recommend the serious sexual power tool — the Makita and DeWalt of buzzy orgasmic fun — that is the Phantasy Sinnflut, especially now that it’s become The Nymph’s favorite vibrating toy.
But, sadly for my grand plan, I found myself responsible for some unanticipated family caregiving this December, and the big blogging plans have suffered. Suddenly I discover it’s December 19, I haven’t done any Christmas shopping at all, and the ship-in-time-for-Christmas dates have passed at almost all of my favorite online sex toy emporia. Drat!
However, all is not lost. My first and favorite online purveyor of sex toys, JT’s Stockroom, ships so fast they can (with appropriate shipping options) guarantee Christmas delivery of in-stock items ordered before 2:00 PM (Pacific) on December 22. That’s Friday, you still have two whole days and fragments of two more! Plenty of time, if you don’t dawdle.
Better yet, The Stockroom has a Christmas sale going. Spend more than thirty bucks — which is so not hard — and you can pick a free gift.
When shopping at The Stockroom, you can (of course) go kinky if you want to — how about a satin blindfold in Santa Claus Red?
But kinky is not required. They have every imaginable sex toy to tickle your fancy (or hers, or his), plus they have gift certificates for the indecisive.
Kinky not required, I said. But if it’s kinky you want, JT’s Stockroom is the undisputed king of kinky. Forget crops and whips and leather cuffs. Did you ever imagine what you’d get if you took one of those paper Chinese finger trap toys and re-engineered it, using stainless steel wire, as a device for imprisoning penises?
Of course you did. Or maybe not. They think of these things so you won’t have to.
Anyway, behold! The Wire Cock Trap (click to see with entrapped penis):
That’s not something everybody with a penis to play with is gonna want, no. But it would fit nicely in a stocking. And think of the the fun when he pulls it out and holds it up, all puzzled, and says “What’s this thing, and what’s it for?”
“Hold still, dear, and I’ll show you.”
Fair warning: you might wind up late for Christmas dinner at dear old Grandma’s house. And aren’t happy delays like that the best Christmas present of all?
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Can I just say, “ouch!!!” to the wire cock trap. Me thinks that would require some serious sucking to kiss the pain better after removal. Perhaps not such a bad thing really…
Actually I don’t think it would hurt at all unless someone took unfortunate advantage and pulled too hard or too long. The wires should slide past each other without pinching, not being connected at their vertices, and few men object to a good firm grip.
Now, not being into CBT, I’m going to ignore all that sales copy about “spanked, slapped, whipped” and the stuff about “stainless steel also conducts electricity, so it is perfect for electrical play…” Yikes, not with mine you don’t. But lots of guys like that, too.
Oh, I almost forgot — that doesn’t mean you’re not right about the kissing….
My husband used to work construction and they used contraptions like this to pull cable through conduit. With backhoes or comealongs.
He shuddered when I showed him what else they can do.
Said “No way in hell!”
Chicken shit little bastard! HAHAHAHA
I haved used similar devices to pull cable as well… and am inclined to agree with Sassy’s husband.
Whoa. That cage looks scary.
I love the look of the cock cage, but all I can think of is fingercuffs!
Hello, I actually have a wire cock trap, and I love it. I work at JT’s Stockroom writing descriptions and testing products. I also review sex toys. When these first arrived I found them very intimidating looking myself, but I was also intrigued. I’m not really a masochist, although I enjoy some rough kink. I still was excited about trying it out. I agree that it looks like finger cuffs, I thought that as well. I used it to masturbate with and it was awesome. It doesn’t hurt. I repeat: It does not hurt. It can of course, if you choose to use it as a method of torturing your penis or someone else’s, and it can be very effective. It mainly heightens sensation a great deal.
[edited to remove "come visit my blog" links, which are not permitted -- Bacchus]