For me, a Christmas stocking just isn’t a proper Christmas stocking if it doesn’t have some kind of sexy toy in it. Not even if it’s vinyl and has a heel:


sexy vinyl Christmas stockings

So anyway, I had high hopes of doing a substantial and official ErosBlog sex toy Christmas Guide this year. But, sadly for my grand plan, I found myself responsible for some unanticipated family care-giving this December, and the big sex toy blogging plans have suffered. Suddenly I discover it’s December 19, I haven’t done any Christmas shopping at all, and the ship-in-time-for-Christmas dates have passed at almost all of my favorite online sex toy emporia. Drat!

However, all is not lost. My first and favorite online purveyor of sex toys, JT’s Stockroom, ships so fast that this year they can (with appropriate shipping options) guarantee Christmas delivery of in-stock items ordered before 2:00 PM (Pacific) on December 23. Plenty of time, if you don’t dawdle.

Better yet, every year The Stockroom has a “SeXmas” sale. It’s always got good discounts, too.

When shopping at The Stockroom, you can (of course) go kinky if you want to — how about a satin blindfold in Santa Claus Red?


sexy red satin blindfold

But kinky is not required. They have every imaginable sex toy to tickle your fancy (or hers, or his), plus they have gift certificates for the indecisive.

Kinky not required, I said. But if it’s kinky you want, JT’s Stockroom is the undisputed king of kinky. Forget crops and whips and leather cuffs. Did you ever imagine what you’d get if you took one of those paper Chinese finger trap toys and re-engineered it, using stainless steel wire, as a device for imprisoning penises?

Of course you did. Or maybe not. They think of these things so you won’t have to.

Anyway, behold! The Wire Cock Trap (click to see with entrapped penis):


stainless steel penis trap

That’s not something everybody with a penis to play with is gonna want, no. But it would fit nicely in a stocking. And think of the the fun when he pulls it out and holds it up, all puzzled, and says “What’s this thing, and what’s it for?”

“Hold still, dear, and I’ll show you.”

Fair warning: you might wind up late for Christmas dinner at dear old Grandma’s house. And aren’t happy delays like that the best Christmas present of all?