After some eroticized gardening, Farm Wife Amber moves on to sassing her husband:

And did I mention that beer bottle shoved up my cunt? …[My husband] has this habit of leaving empty beer bottles in his office, and I get mad every single time. One time I emptied one onto his head, even.

When I complained about it one more time last night, he said he leaves them out for me to masturbate. “Oh yeah?” I said provocatively, dropping my pants and underwear, spreading myself in a chair, and demonstrating exactly what he had described.

I don’t think he’d ever seen a beer bottle so crudely misappropriated, and he was quite fascinated. Sassy, you think?