Poor Zoe. I know it’s rough out there on the dating sites, but she had to hear from this goon?

Dear Lord. Now you’re not only looking for an “intellectual,” but a poet laureate as well. A sex blog? You do realize that you’re asking for trouble there, considering what’s probably in store for you.

Sorry to be the bearer of bad news, but you’re on the wrong site if that’s your thrill. Most of the guys on this site are only capable of thinking with the head that does not encapsulate the brain. Do you know the difference between morons and idiots? The morons go too slow while the idiots go too fast.

Seriously, contrary to your idealistic theory, a good sex blog writer does not translate into a good f*#! The guys (and gals) on this site just want to get laid (sorry, that doesn’t sound so intellectual)so you might want to consider [again] changing your criteria. It’s all in the name, right? F-L-I-N-G. Sorry, the “I” doesn’t stand for “intellectual.”

O.K., enough of the verbal diahhrea. I see that you checked out my profile yesterday but never replied to my message. Guess I’m not smart enough, eh? Ha, ha, ha … Again, you can email me at p——-@verizon.net or call me during the day at 617———. Considering that most guys wouldn’t even take the time to correspond in depth (and attempt to rearrange your priorities), you might at least have the decency to reply in kind (a few meager words). Don’t worry, I won’t bite and, at the risk of sounding snobbish/jerky, I’d venture to say that I have had many more years of “writing” and being intellectual than you. Be brave. Phil

… and you want “real” stories. You would be naive to think that these guys are going to be able to deliver anything but the mindless smut they will undoubtedly plagarize from their under-the-bed collection of Penthouse Forums. The moral of the story, Miss Originality, is that it’s better to make your own stories. Hey, are you doing your school thesis on cyberspace sex or something? LOL

I see that you’re back up and running here. You were a bad girl and Fling put you on probation? Enough cyberspace blather already. Can you just call me atb617——— (M-F 9-6)? Phil

In what universe is this guy going to get laid using this technique? What did he do, read a few pickup-artist manuals and utterly misconstrue the already-dubious and highly situational advice about the purported value of deft, funny “negative hits”?

(Plus, is it just me, or is asking to receive your online booty phone calls during regular business hours only a sign that you’re married and bored in your cubicle?)