The Holy Bible has some incredibly specific proscriptions. It turns out that if you’re fighting with a dude, and your wife grabs him by his junk in an effort to help you, you’re supposed to cut off her hand. WTF?

If two men are fighting and the wife of one of them comes to rescue her husband from his assailant, and she reaches out and seizes him by his private parts, you shall cut off her hand. Show her no pity.

Dude. She was trying to help! But there it is, in Deuteronomy 25:11-12.

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