This post by Stabbity is couched as scene/socialization advice for submissive men but I think it applies a bit more generally. Guys (or anyone): if you do this, stahpit! The post is deservedly ranty in parts, but seriously, don’t be like this:

I’ve said this before, but you know, it bears repeating: people, particularly women, notice when you can’t be bothered to talk to anyone you don’t want to fuck and we hate it. That’s not the only reason you should talk to people who aren’t hot dominant women or who *gasp* are dominant women but don’t particularly turn you on, though.

First of all, people have friends. If you’re not a dick, they might introduce you to said friends. I don’t know why this doesn’t occur to more people – do you think everyone you see at a munch or play party is secretly a robot who goes straight home afterward and plugs themselves into their charging station?

Second of all, you can make friends with people you don’t want to fuck. I wish that was too obvious to bother saying, but apparently it’s not. Some of the people you meet in the scene will have absolutely nothing in common with you besides kink, but some people you meet literally everywhere else will also have nothing in common with you. You’re certainly not required to make friends with other kinksters, but what can it hurt to try?

Again, this advice can be generalized outside the kink scene. Don’t be the person who only talks to people they want to fuck. Just don’t!

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