For as long as I have been a sex blogger, lists of sexual fetishes (in varying degrees of obscurity) have been crossing my radar. Sometimes these were compiled by other bloggers for fun, sometimes they were articles in online publications looking to entertain readers with novelty sex trivia. For some reason I’ve never figured out, the fetish lists often resort to complex portmanteau words chimera-stitched together from roots in Greek or Latin (or even Greek and Latin at the same time). Thus they’ll list something like “knismolagia”, instead of just saying “tickling fetish”. If you look it up in a really good dictionary, you’ll likely see a legend like this: “Mainly encountered in word lists rather than actual use.” You don’t say!

I have more interest in the thousands of small fetishes described by carefully-worked-out tag systems that attempt to catalog millions of hentai/manga erotic artworks. These systems serve as enormous catalogs of micro-fetishes. Rule 34 provides that if a thing exists, there is porn of it — and the marvelous truth is that a tag/name exists for every obscure fetish you can imagine, and for untold thousands more that you never could have dreamed up in a month of feverish wanking. I’m serious. Did you know that “ear insertion” is a thing? I don’t know the fancy Greek portmanteau word for it, but if you’re a catgirl, it’s a risk:

Every highly-online person has been aware for decades that tentacle sex is a surprisingly-frequent preoccupation in Japanese erotic animation. And those sticky probing tentacles, man, they go everywhere. There are a lot of them, too! They almost always wind up in an airtight gang-bang situation, with tentacles jammed everywhere you might imagine a tentacle getting jammed. But this is the internet. No fetish is too micro. If you want “anal tentacles” and nothing but anal tentacles, the internet will provide. Find me a polysyllabic Latin word for that!

It takes no particular imagination to have a fetish for tattoos and body art. Hell, back when porn magazines were still printed profusely, there were entire thick glossy titles devoted to nothing but sexy tattoos and body modifications. It’s when things get exquisitely particular that the internet comes to the rescue. There’s porn (there’s always porn!) for people whose narrow fetish is “pussy tattoos” — just pussy tattoos, no ink anywhere else:

I could go on all day. Cataloging the infinite varieties of human arousal is one of my favorite things to do. But I’m going to end the game (for now) with a nice plump juicy “cameltoe” image:

I defy you to find a word in a classical language for that!