January 3rd, 2021 -- by Bacchus
Not Here, Not There, Not Anywhere
Sam has yet to discover some important life wisdom. A woman who deploys the reflexive “not here!” response to public displays of affection won’t stop doing it when the two of you are in private:
Cartoon is from a 1957 issue of After Hours.
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Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=26387
Shorter URL for sharing: http://www.erosblog.com/?p=26387
So… When Melania wont hold Donald’s hand in public, this probably means…
I’d say it’s contextual. A quick kiss may be fine in public, but a long slow French Kiss in the food court? Groping the arse in Church? We all appreciate a lady who values our affections over public censure, but I wouldn’t expect every woman who has rules about public affection to shun it in private, behind closed doors and blinds many publicly restrained ladies become rather expressive indeed. Playing loud music is an excellent screen for verbal expressions of pleasure, and not just in apartments with thin walls.
Justin, of course you are correct; a lot of my tweet-length takes are generalizations and rules of thumb for the betting man, not iron-clad laws of nature without variation. But in the context of this cartoon, my point was that a discerning man can quickly determine if the “not here!” push-away is genuinely based on the circumstances and the nature of the potential audience. Desert island, no witnesses? Not a good sign. It’s very much the case that women traditionally have faced greater pressure than men to preserve their chaste public demeanors, and I’m not trying to erase that sexist reality. But a woman who has internalized it to the point of brushing off affection where there’s no public necessity is probably going to have more general problems giving or receiving affection. This, anyway, has been my experience.
Dr. Whiplash: On a negotiated schedule, no smiling.
Oh certainly, if there’s no one else around, or there’s a reasonable expectation of privacy, and she’s still rejecting any intimacy, then there are larger issues at play.