Bacchus has already blogged about the relationship between buying a house and blowjob frequency. Celebration BJs are also a lamentably common occurrence. I don’t understand that, but in the interest of assisting those poor girls whose oral skills aren’t well-honed, here’s some advice from Santa Claus:

But those lonesome and lonely on Christmas who decide to sleep on the couch by the fireplace wishing for their White Christmas to be both sticky and on their face, well, I’ve got some tips for you:

• Brush your teeth and gargle before going to bed. There’s nothing worse than someone who’s had a whole plate of chicken wings and then gums your knob with hot sauce. It feels like I’ve just screwed a lit yule log.
• It doesn’t matter if you’ve been naughty or nice. Go down on Santa and you’ll get a present.

There’s more for your amusement where that came from, at Christmas is Full of Crap.