Any Good WordPress Template Designers Out There?

ErosBlog is upgrading sometime soon to WordPress 2.0, and I’m in the market for a designer who can build me a nice custom template for a reasonable rate. I’m not looking for anything radical; really, I want something that looks and works pretty much the way ErosBlog already looks and works, only more modern and with colors and fonts and such that weren’t selected in 2002 by a color-blind design ignoramus. (Yes, that would be me.)

If you do WordPress template design, don’t mind getting paid with filthy porn money, and are available for an immediate commission, I’d like to hear from you, with a pointer to your design portfolio. Please send an email (to bacchus@erosblog.com); please do not leave links in the comments. All such will be deleted in self defense, to prevent the creation of a festering spam farm.

The Female Orgasm Porn Niche

From Rollertrain comes the depressing observation that “In the backward world of porn genres, female orgasm is a niche – not a given.” Supporting text:

Sativa, freshly waxed and moaning, looks lovely on the screen. The vibrator is buzzing at a low hum, making soft little surging noises as she pushes its tip against her clit. Sativa has beautiful skin, luscious tits and the kind of lips that cost hundreds of dollars. She’s awesome to behold so close up, but this isn’t anything I haven’t seen before.

“What’s awesome?” I ask. Isabelle turns up the sound. “Watch,” she says, and I listen. Sativa, movie-sized tribute to blessed Pussy, fills up all forty-two inches of Isabelle’s TV. Her face starts to look far away. She bites her lip and her cheeks flush. Her moaning falls into short pants of air and whimpering. The vibrator is working. Sativa’s entire vagina contracts six or seven times, like a giant heartbeat. Her pussy is shimmering. Sativa is clearly having an orgasm.

“I think that’s the first time I’ve actually seen a girl really cum in a porno,” says Isabelle.

Heidi Klum In An Ounce Of Paint

You know that springtime is coming when you see Heidi Klum in Sports Illustrated wearing nothing but an ounce of body paint:

Yum yum.

Vacuuming His Balls?

An odd mixture of cleaning and playtime at Annie’s Blog:

I…unknowingly made myself an ingredient in the menacing mix of man, naked woman and power tool which can lead to only one end: Fun With Suction. It feels really wierd to have one’s nipple sucked into the end of a vaccuum cleaner hose, yanno? Set on high it damn near sucks the hair off balls, too. I’m still trying to figure out if Robert’s “EEEEEAAAAHHHHHH!” was a good thing.